Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Mama's Healthy Way

For the past few days I had the pleasure of witnessing (and cleaning up, unfortunately!) the biggest variety of poop, or better diarrhea ever existed.

Luca had a rough few days dealing with the evil colorful stuff coming out of his butt (yes, I thought I'd share every detail with you guys!) and I was honestly shocked to learn how many fucking shades of poop do exist. Really.

I have the feeling though that I had something to do with it…just a tiny tiny bit, and I tell you why. I absolutely LOVE soy milk, especially the vanilla flavored one and last week, in a moment of weakness, I gave Luca a little sip. He loved it so much that he gulped down a few more sips. Last thing I know he drank almost a whole cup!

Well…nothing wrong with it, I thought. What a good healthy little boy mama is growing here…look at him, he loves soy milk! So, while I’m all proud and happy about my little man, I’m thinking….hum…what about allergies? Noooooo, it can’t be! Soy it’s so good for you, right?

Right. But not if you are 10 months old and you’re intestine and digestive system is still the size of a peanut! So exactly 2 hours later a shit load of nasty stuff came flying out of his little butt.

Ever since that day his butt cheeks are fiery red and he screams every time I try to change his diaper. I do to. Mostly because changing his diaper now entails a mini-bath every time, to avoid irritating his skin with wipes and incorporating a 2 minutes cool air blow dry of his lower body. Sounds like fun, huh?

Well, all I can tell you is that next time I feel like sparing the moment and introducing another “fun food” to my little one…I will think about it veeeeery carefully.

Please note: I apologize for neglecting this blog in the past few days due to the obscene amount of poop-cleaning our lives were caught up with. We will keep you adjourned on the conditions and disasters caused by active baby volcano Luca. Goodnight and good luck!

Friday, August 24, 2007

Words Of Wisdom

Hey Daddy...enough porns for today!
I want to watch some sports now.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Little Magic Fingers

I have been putting it off for quite a while now, but I think it’s time to baby proof our apartment.

The little monkey is now crawling to perfection and has mastered the ability of sticking his little tiny fingers virtually everywhere. He has also developed a fascination in licking…yes, licking the electrical outlets (maybe they taste like strawberry and I don’t even know about it?) and shaking all those colorful bottles of cleaning products under the kitchen sink.

He’s also very good at making things disappear.

The other day I caught him in the bathroom, playing next to the toilet bowl with one of my hairbrushes. The moment he saw me, he just dropped it in the toilet and gave me one of those cute million dollar smiles and started digging back in the bowl in an attempt to save it.

Maybe that was a sign…you’d think?

Unfortunately I have never been a big fan of those ugly and bulky plastic ordeals that usually decorate every house with a living kid in it. Mostly because I know I will curse every time I have to open a cabinet, unlock the toilet seat or just plug in the blow dryer.

I am a pretty clumsy person by nature and I have the feeling that I will be a prisoner in my own apartment. Waiting for my husband to come home so that I can finally pee or feed myself…only because I didn’t know how to unlock the lock.

Ahh, the joy of independency and...motherhood, of course!

Daily Cool Pill: Uhhm…I wonder if Crate & Barrel or Pottery Barn will soon start making baby proofing accessories!

Monday, August 20, 2007

A Taste Of The Old Days…(Part 2)

There are only a few words to describe our Saturday night out: fun, liberating and incredibly painful.

It was definitely fun to finally have an adult conversation, while getting intoxicated with high doses of alcohol and realizing a bit too late that there is no need to reply with a: “Aaaawwwww, how cute!” every time somebody says anything.
(We definitely need more practice in the conversation department, so we agreed on the fact that we need to go out more often. Waaaaay more often.)

I felt so free and happy to actually be outside at night. And this time I wasn’t pushing a stroller with a screaming baby in it, praying that he will soon fall asleep before I did.
I was so excited that if somebody had passed around a tray of Jello shots, I would have done ‘em all.
(Trust me, you become shameless).

The only downside of the whole story …hangover is a beeatch! We came back home around 2 am, paid the babysitter and passed out on the bed completely dressed. (I’m not kidding).

Spent all day Sunday picking up the pieces.

Was it fun? Yes, definitely.

Was it worth it? Yes, if you want to keep your sanity. Hangover and all!

DCP: Note to self - Please remember to eat some kind of dinner before you decide to drink your brains out. Just a few appetizers shared between friends and 100 gallons of liquor…just won’t do it, girl!

Friday, August 17, 2007

A Taste Of The Old Days…(Part 1)

So tomorrow for the first time since Luca was born, we finally hired a babysitter and we are taking the night off.

We had a few moments of freedom in the past, but only when some of our friends felt bad for us and kicked our old asses out of the house and begged us to have some fun.

Oh, sweet smell of freedom! I can already taste it in my mouth…getting ready to go out, going crazy trying to find something to wear and ending up drunk on some fruity cocktail I will never remember the name of.

Yeah…everything sounds great. But will I be able to just chill and enjoy a night out without thinking of…(a crazy monster lady taking care of my little sweet boy, feeding him food off the floor and letting him cry alone in a corner, not giving him a little kiss goodnight, not rocking him long enough, trying on all my stuff, going through my drawers, calling Spain, Trinidad, Costa Rica and back again?)…

Oh boy, I really need a night out.

(To Be Continued…)

DCP: Reeelaaax! Babysitters are a wonderful thing and not just some evil people trying to kill your baby. And if they do, they certainly didn’t mean it.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

My Dear Little Peanut,

You are 10 months old today...already. If this can even be possible...I love you more every minute of every hour of each and every day of your life and with every breath I take.

Your loving Mommy..

Monday, August 13, 2007

Just What The Doctor Ordered

Shrinks are expensive.

Even if you have health insurance, there is no way around it and they will suck you dry.

I never thought I needed one, but living in New York City and being surrounded by all kinds of people, it’s inevitable that at one point you will encounter a good Samaritan who will kindly suggest you go see one.

Not because you need one, but just because it’s good for you. New York City is a very stressful place. You are always competing for the best job, the best husband, the best lifestyle, beautiful kids, always be thin, buy a house, buy a beach house, take tennis lessons, become a golf pro, go bankrupt and then eventually die.

So, throughout this very painful process, you better find yourself a shrink. And a good one too.

That’s why a couple of years ago, after a visit to my family doctor to request a cocktail of sleeping pills to finally put my ass to sleep and confess that most of the time food was like my security blanket, she suggested I go see a shrink. Just for my sanity.

I didn’t really think much of it in the beginning, since almost everyone I know here in the city has a shrink. I actually thought it would be cool to tell somebody whatever shit is going through your mind without being judged. Even Tony Soprano had one.

The only problem was that I actually got bored out of my mind. I mean, this lady was the best sleeping pill I’ve ever had. She was like this big 300 pounds blob of fat, slouched on a big leather chair, constantly chewing on a pencil. I used to get so depressed just looking at her.

So after about 8 sessions (see, at least I tried, right?) and $500 robbed from my wallet (that’s exactly what it felt like!), I called it a quit and decided that the best therapy for me is shopping, chocolate and sex. If you also wanna throw in the mix some good food, a little traveling and some cool jewelry, you got yourself a happy camper.

Daily Cool Pill: Nowadays the best therapy is blogging. After all, you only have a bunch of strangers reading your crazy shit and you might get some good advice here and there. Just let it out and use a corner of the Internet to express your thoughts and frustration about life, parenting, marriage or whatever goes through your mind. You never know…maybe you’ll find some other nutcase out there to keep you company!

Thursday, August 9, 2007

One Of My Favorite Picture In The Whole Wide World!

Luca's First Christmas!
This picture was taken on December 25th, 2006 and Luca was 2 months and 11 be exact!

I love looking at old photos of him and of course I weep everytime. He's growing sooo fast and I wish I could capture every single moment of these very first years.

I think I win the Million Dollar prize for the dorkiest, most boring post ever...but HEY, GET OFF period is coming and I'm a basket case, so BACK OFF!

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Slow Down Please, You Little Brain Of Mine

I always heard other women commenting that after you give birth you become a full tank of ideas and inspirations. Not quite sure if this is also due to the crazy raging hormones driving you bananas or just a series of eureka moments.

All I know is that my poor little brain has never been so restless before.

I literally want to become anything and anybody.

For a few months I really wanted to become a fashion designer. Children clothing, to be exact.

All I could think of was these cute little clothes hanging all over my apartment and me happily sewing away, faster then a Chinese lady at a sweatshop.
Needless to say that even though I absolutely love fashion, I have no clue on how to use a sewing machine.

So of course, with the support of my loving husband off I go to buy a sewing machine and start taking sewing classes.

The whole thing lasted about 8 weeks…and at the end of it, I realized that I’m not really a “detailed oriented” person…and…(who knew?) you really have to be patient in order to sew a decent frock?

Then I wanted to be a nurse.

I love taking care of people, especially kids and I would do anything in my power to keep them healthy and happy.

Nothing wrong with it…you may think!

Minor detail: I faint at the sight of a drop of blood. Hmmm…now, that’s challenging!
Just imagine me trying to stick a needle in some poor innocent being...and faint at the same time (and of course I will end up poking myself to death with the same needle!).

Two months later I wanted to be a lawyer…I mean COME ON!

Is this happening to you as well, mommies out there? Please let me know…I just wanna make sure I’m ok and I won’t end up in a psych ward with no cable TV and hopefully a pair of shoelaces to hang myself!

DCP: Save yourself a bucket of cash and think twice before adventuring yourself in something you’re not really patternmaking, learning Swahili or becoming a personal trainer. They all sound very useful…but let’s be honest here: When on earth are you going to train somebody from Africa who doesn’t speak English, wearing a pair of sweatpants you designed?

Saturday, August 4, 2007

I’m Officially A…Bummy!

Yesterday was my last day at work.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I quit my job to become a full time mommy…or better, a Bummy (mix between a bum and a mommy!).

I’m happy to be able to spend more time with Luca, but at the same time terrified that I will have a nervous breakdown!

See…until now, my part-time job took about 30 hours a week away from him and in a way it’s always been my “escape” from baby land. It was my grown up time, with no crying, spitting or stinky diapers. No matter how stressful my day would be, I always tried to convince myself that this was my sanctuary.

And I needed it to keep my sanity.

Until I realized that I had enough of my job.

I was tired of babysitting celebrities, tired of their whining, criticism and constant need for something. I already have a baby at home! (hmm...actually three, if you count the husband and the dog).

So here I am.

Starting my new life as a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom…sorry I had to spell it out to see what it looks like).

Trying to think of all the possible games, play dates and tricks to entertain a 10 month old without freaking out and suddenly desire a career as a street cleaner.

I’m sure I will love every minute of it and hope is a very good thing!

Daily Cool Pill: There are always baby sitters though...right?