Tuesday, December 25, 2007

You Better Watch Out...

...Santa is coming tonight!

Merry Christmas to all you fab mommies! May Santa bring you lots of happiness and joy...and why not...maybe a new pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes!!


Thursday, December 20, 2007

It's Only Getting Better By The Minute...

...yes, in fact now my harmless cold seems to have turned into this feroucious bronchitis.

I can't stop coughing.

I sound like a trucker.

I feel like a trucker.

I nevere thought how unsexy it is the sound of your wife/trucker with her constant nagging, coughing and yes, let's be honest here...the occasional spitting too.

Poor hubby...you're such a trooper. I guess you remember now our wedding vows...SICKNESS...wealth..and all that stuff huh?

Saturday, December 15, 2007

That's What I Get For Going Out Dancing....

...a nasty nasty cold. At first I thought it was hangover, but when the feeling lasted a little longer then the usual 48 hours and my nose started dripping like a melting snowball (huh?), I knew that I was in for some fun.

And of course now everyone around me is sick.

We have been living off chicken noodle soup and nasal spray, but things haven't really improved, yet.

I figured I have until Monday morning, when hubby has to go back to work, to pull my shit together.

For now...I'm gonna enjoy a little longer my relationship with my bed/remote control/favorite book.

Friday, December 14, 2007

14 Months

Today my little boy is 14 months old. Happy Birthday little man. And forget all the crap everybody is saying about not celebrating months anymore, but just years of your life.
Here, I shut it even louder..HAAAPPPYYYY BIRTHDAAAYYY!!

Thank you for being so wonderful and for surprising me every day with one of your amazing new trick, like kicking a soccer ball, undressing yourself or opening every single cabinet in the bathroom to smell mommy's parfumes.

I love you more every second, if that's even possible.


Thursday, December 13, 2007

Feel Like Dancing?

So Tuesday night my husband and I went out dancing. To tell you the truth it was a very spare the moment type of thing and we just went with it. I booked a sitter for the night and off we went.
It was a record release party, at a club, a real club. One of my favorite clubs, to be exact. And we had a blast.
It felt so good to be out, dancing, talking to other people, drinking, talking a little more and drinking a little more.

See, that's what I love about New York City. It was only Tuesday night, but there were a ton of people out. And for a few hours I felt young and free again. The guilt of leaving our son at home with a stranger only hit a couple of times, but it was nothing that a good couple of tequila shots couldn't tame. It was good to feel intoxicated by the alcohol, cigarette smoke and incredibly loud music and I loved every minute of it.

Until Luca reminded me, at 6am, that I'm his and only his. Obviously not happy to be left at home with a stranger and knowing that we came back home at 2.30am, he decided to teach me a lesson. And a good one too!

(Now I know why we never go out anymore. It's too much work and it takes me 2 days to recover).

Thursday, December 6, 2007

First Signs That You're Becoming Addicted To The Blogosphere:

1) You search hysterically every single blog you can think of to see if there are any new posts
2) You don't even read, let alone understand the content of the post
3) You start mentioning your fellow blogger in your everyday conversations...like they're basically your best friends
4) You're starting to neglet your kid and his immediate need for food
5) Your ass hurts so much for spending too much time on the computer

So what I did was taking a couple of weeks off from the blogging madness, no posting, no reading, no writing any comments (sorry, my friends!) and see if I would survive.
The result of the experiment: I felt great for the first week. No headaches, no double vision and no backache (gee...it certainly sounds like a lot of work, when in reality all I do is just sittingon my ass, reading and biting my nails!).
By the second week I was bored to death and that's when I discover another dangerous tool: Ebay.

Now I need to detox from it before I end up totally broke or completely naked after I've sold everything in my closet.
Huh...Who would have thought I had such an addictive personality?

Result of the experiment: It is definitely much cheaper to read blogs and I'm gonna stick with it!

Thursday, November 22, 2007


Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!

Yep...the Holiday Season is here...again. What the f....?! Wasn't it Christmas like a month ago? Where the heck did this year go?

Ohh...right, I forgot that when you have a baby time does fly. Even though you wake up every morning to the same shitty routine, like...change the diaper, clean the bottle, fill up the bottle, feed the bottle, clean the house, wash the dishes, cook and if you have any energy left, take a shower...you learn to love your shitty routine. Especially when is playtime and you get to impersonate 101 different animal sounds and rolling your dirty self on the floor with absolutely no shame whatsoever.

Don't you just love being a mommy?

Well...here's to all of you fab moms out there! Enjoy the holiday, stuff your face with as much turkey as you like...after all is mostly white meat and proteins are good for you. Have a drink on me...or maybe three, because I have another exciting week-end with the In-laws ahead of me in trendy Maryland...yuppyyyy!

(Please shoot me now and let me be your Thanksgiving turkey....pleeeaaase!)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Reality Check

Well...I guess turning 35 was kind of a big deal and it hit me right in the head.

All sort of crazy stuff went through my head.

Who am I?

What the hell am I doing here?

Where am I going?

Do I need plastic surgery already?

Is it time to trade in my sexy underware for granny's pants?

My husband kind of answered to all my existential dilemmas:

Honey, you're my sweet little nutcase...but you're hot, so I'll have to deal with it. You're here to take care of your 2 boys, me being the youngest and the neediest. Hope you're going nowhere. I like to think that you're stuck with me for the rest of your life and I will probably die first so you'll be free then. Not so fast. Your body is perfect and if you just want bigger boobs, we'll just keep having kids and you can go crazy with your nana's underware. At least you'll have plenty of good reasons to wear it.

See...who knew that life could be so simple.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

They Still Amaze Me...Every Single Time!

I can never get enough of watching Jon & Kate plus 8. The show on the Discovery Health Channel.

These people have a set of twins and sextuplets. The twin girls are 6 years old and the sextuplets are 2 years old.

It makes me feel really bad...and stupid when I complain about Luca.

How the heck do you deal with 8 kids?

I will have to throw all my money into therapy.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

And You Wonder Why I’m A Pumpkin?

So today was my Birthday.

Yeah…yeah…no big fuss about it.

I stopped celebrating after I turned 30 anyway, and now at 35 forget it. It’s like there is this big black crow on my shoulder reminding me that I have officially entered the senile age…pretty much for everything!

It’s hard enough to run after your little one without having a heart attack and try to keep up with the latest fashion trends before hitting the “lady” section at the department store…noooo, you also have to hear the crap from your OB/GYN and her genuine interest on how many babies are we exactly planning to have.

You know, she just wants to let you know that you’re basically running out of time.


Just shoot me then and put me out of my misery.

I thought 35 is the new 25.

Yeah...total crap, I know.

Anyway, for all of you wondering why I’m a read head. This is what my mom used to tell me:

Me: “Mommy, Mommy…why do I have ginger hair?”

Mom: “Oh sweetie, you were born on Halloween night, precisely at 1.02 am on November 1st and Mommy that night, while she was waiting for you, ate a lot of pumpkin pie. You didn’t want to come out so the doctors went in and took you out and probably some of that pumpkin in my belly must have rubbed on you hair, giving you these beautiful strawberry locks”.

Me: “But Mommy, I want to be just like everybody else. And why do I have all these little dots on my face?”

Mommy: “Oh honey, those are just pumpkin seeds”.

This is my story.

Happy Birthday to me!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

My Little Stinging Bee

Who knew that one of the pleasures of having kids was Trick or Treating all day long, collecting all kinds of junk and then stuff your face with it? Yes, because when you realize that your baby is too little to eat chocolate...you can't possible waste it, can you?

Happy Halloween everyone!!

Monday, October 29, 2007

Knitting Fever

The reason why I have been slacking around here (and around the house) it’s because lately I started knitting. I always dreamt of making cute little baby sweaters and stuff, but never really had the time or the patience to actually start.

Then about a month ago I was cruising around the arts and craft section at the bookstore and came across a really cool book about knitting…and the rest is history.

Just the idea of me resembling an old lady, sitting all day long on a rocking chair knitting her lifelong sweater didn’t really appealed to me. Then once I started I was hooked.

It’s kind of a healthy version of crack cocaine…but at least it won’t kill ya! Once you begin a project all you can think of is to finish it AS SOON AS POSSIBLE to see what it looks like.

Now, as you all know, I’m a very impatience person so I have to see the results IMMEDIATELY. Yes, ask me how many fucking time I had to restart the same scarf because I either ripped a hole in it or missed 10 stitches for going too fast? Too many.

But it’s all good. It’s kind of a brain exercise. You know, the one where I learn to be PATIENT which I’m sure is one of those things that will come in handy in life…right?

Meanwhile, Luca is sporting all kind of cool staff thanks to Mommy new addiction. Today, for example, we were at the library and this cute gay couple came up to us and said: “Oohh my gaaad, he’s soo cute and definitely the best dressed baby I have seen in NYC!”

Luca looked at me with a quizzical expression of appreciation and maybe a little disgust too.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

It's The End...

...of whatever leftover freedom I had.
It all started very innocently about a month ago, when Luca started taking his first steps on his own. We all clapped and cheered on how proud we were and how adorable he looked.

Now, nothing can stop him. The kid literally runs. And me behind him of course.
It’s pretty hard for a lazy broad like me who usually fakes nausea or some other weird disease not to step into a gym, to run after a toddler 24/7.

I feel like I have to train for the marathon of a lifetime because I have the feeling that this will go on for quite a long time…right?

Yesterday my gym membership expired, but this morning, the good girl that I am, I went in and paid for another year. No, I did not use it, I just went in and paid. Hey…I can only take a few minutes at the time!

No matter how cute he looks when he runs around with his little hands up in the air and his new All Star Chuck shoes, he’s still a danger to society. Especially dogs and other kids because he likes to pull or hit the crap out of them and I definitely have to learn how to be faster to probably avoid a lawsuit.

Which means I REALLY have to hit the gym sometimes...or buy a new pair of tennis shoes!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

The Daily Bite: Pollo alla Cacciatora

(Chicken Cacciatora)

For the past couple of weeks I have been on a mission to find the tastier recipe for “Pollo alla Cacciatora” and after trying all the different variations my Grandma had patiently saved in her cookbook….I got it!

This is definitely my favorite and the sauce is unbelievably delicious just with the chicken or over pasta.

Here it goes:

Cut a big onion in a half and soak it in cold water for about half an hour. Pat it dry with a paper towel and sauté in a large pan with 2 Tbs of extra virgin olive oil and a little tsp of lard (this will give the meat and the sauce an amazing taste, but if you prefer you can just use the olive oil).
When the onion is cooked, about 5 minutes, put it aside.
Cut in pieces a 3 lbs chicken and braise it in the same pan with the leftover oil. Add the onion, salt and pepper to taste. Add half a cup of dry red wine (I personally prefer it with dry white wine, but both options are really good) and about 1 to 2 cups of tomato sauce. This is usually to your taste. If you would like to use the sauce for some pasta you can definitely add more tomato sauce.
Let it boil in the sauce for about 20 minutes to half an hour and serve hot.

This is one of the simplest recipes. Has a lot of taste and doesn’t need any spices. There was a note at the bottom of Grandma’s recipe: Questo non e’ un piatto per gli stomachi deboli (This is not suitable for delicate stomachs!)

Marian: This is for you, my dear. I hope you like it and enjoy the earthy flavor of it. Sorry I didn’t post a photo, I forgot to take one last time and I think if I cook again Chicken Cacciatora…my husband will divorce me. There is a limit for everything…yes, even for a man!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Toys recall is not enough…now even the cookies suck!

Tonight, after stuffing my face with some delicious Chinese food my fortune cookie said: Your biggest dream will become true right now.

...I’m still waiting.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

A Tribute To The First Year Of Your Life

Happy Birthday...my little angel. I can't believe that today you are 1 year old. First because it went too fast and second because I feel 100 years older. I think it's because of all the beauty sleep I missed and all the wrinkles I have to show for...but I tell you what...it was all worth it!
Here are some photos of you from the past 12 months, starting from the the first minute of your life.


Saturday, October 13, 2007

I Don't Know How....

...but we made it through the first year without killing the kid, yet. Last year at this time I was pushing my guts out and what turn out to be a beautiful healthy little monster.
Yes, It's been a year of exploring, discovering, learning and most of all of pure guessing on what motherhood is really like. It is without a hint of shame that I honestly admit how I bluffed my way through it.

It was fun, it was stressfull and many many times frustrating...but we made it, little monkey.

Do you think we can still be your parents a little longer?

Thursday, October 11, 2007

The Silence Of The Lambs

When I told my husband how many children I really want...he stopped talking to me.
For the past 24 hours he's been avoiding me and he's even scared to breathe next to me, in case that will get me pregnant.

Ahh boys, they always think their brain wears underwear!

Monday, October 8, 2007

Honey Start Cracking Up Some Barry White Please

For the past week or so I have this incredible desire of having another baby. It’s something that I can’t really explain, like a sudden urge that takes up your all body and mind and won’t let go.

It started with just the idea of what life would be with another little boy or girl. Then it became kind of a curiosity to see how Luca would react with a sibling. Would he be jealous, caring and loving towards a little sister or just a little selfish animal with a younger brother?

Then the idea became a possibility. Hmm…what IF we actually had another baby?!

Now, it’s a fucking obsession to the point that I found myself staring at preggo women and newborns on the street with that kind of I ENVY YOU, I WANT YOUR LITTLE BABY type of look. And, as you can imagine, doesn’t look so good and it REALLY scares people away.

So I thought…hold on a minute, all I need is a touch of reality to make me realize that this is just another crazy idea of mine and who’s better then my dear husband to smack me in the head with it?

At the word “pregnant” alone the poor bastard started to tremble and I could see replaying in his mind the few, very few times we had sex in the past couple of months and trying to figure out how the heck he could have done it again.
When he was 98.9% sure that that wasn’t his doing, he took a long breath and said: “What?”

Then he started mumbling that maybe it is too soon, the apartment is too small, is money going to be enough?...and blah, blah, blah.

And guess what? After all his mumbling and bitching around now I REALLY want a baby.

I told him that this month after my period, we’re gonna start trying, so that by July we’ll have a little one. That’s it. End of the story. Is this or else. (I actually threaten to find sperm somewhere else, as long as he didn’t mind raising someone else’s kid).

He’s answer after all this: “Talking about performance anxiety huh?”

Tell me what do you think. Am I rushing into it? Is it going to be absolutely crazy around here with 2 kids under 2? Keep in mind though that I always wanted to have kids very close in age, so that they can go through life together. I was an only child and hated it. My husband was an only child and loved it. Who’s right?

Sunday, October 7, 2007

This Is When My Mom Felt Bad And Lended Me Her Camera...

...for some more lovely pictures of Pesaro. (Yeah, she got all excited when I told her I was going to post them on my blog!)

Friday, October 5, 2007

A Little Corner of Paradise

I know these pictures don't really pay justice to the beautiful little beach we have being spending time at while in Italy...but hey...all I had was my little crappy phone.

I thought about bringing my professional camera, but due to the size of it, it was either that or the kid.

You can't really tell, but the water is emerald green and we used to spend long hours of the day laying down on the rocks tanning and relaxing (I mean me laying down while Luca was too busy eating a pound of sand a day).

The air is breezy in the morning and thicker in the long afternoons. The smell of tanning lotion, sun and salt fills the air until sundown while the voices and the laughter from the promenade spread through the night.

When the lady selling warm doughnuts and fresh focaccia parks her little stand by the steps everybody runs to get a little piece heaven. And these long hot summer days, will be your lifelong childhood memories.

The name of the city is Pesaro and it's a cute little jewel on the Adriatic Coast.

So just you know...in the next few days I'm gonna play a little National Geographic on you and show you all the places we have visited in Italy that I love.

Yep...all on my camera phone!

What is your favorite place/city/town/village/hole and why? Show me a picture if you can or describe it as it appears to you when you think of it or when you close your eyes.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

It Only Took Us 34 Hours From Door To Door

Yes, that’s right. We left our apartment in NYC at 3.30 pm and arrived at my family’s house at 7.30 pm of the day after (plus the 6 hours time difference).

Not bad. Considering that Luca only slept 2 solid hours through the whole flight and mommy zero, that we missed our connecting flight in Paris so we were basically stuck at the airport for 4 hours doing absolutely nothing (have you ever tried to entertain a baby for 4 fucking hours? I think I know by heart now every single gates and flight company at Charles de Gaulle airport, how many seats there are per gates and how many toilets and food stands).

Air France was great, they took really good care of us and the flight attendants where very good at entertaining Luca, in fact he had a blast. The only thing that really pissed me off was when we missed our connecting flight, first because we were an hour late from NY and second because they didn’t really tell me when I booked my ticket that the connecting flight to Italy was leaving from a whole different terminal and we had to walk about 2 miles, go through passport and security checks all over again…yeah that’s a bummer! But overall we really had a pleasant experience. Thank you Air France…and thank you Marian!

Luca was a trouper. He really enjoyed flying and never, ever cried on the plane, not even for a second. He was amazed by all the people around him, the gadgets, the toys the noises and when he was tired he would take a cat nap. I had people passing him around and playing with him on the plane, kind of a free babysitting service, which was very handy especially when mommy needed to eat or go to the bathroom.

Then once we got to Italy we had a 3 hours train ride to get to the Adriatic Coast. Even that was great. He mostly snacked, slept and made new friend. At one point I even thought about shacking him and asking him what did he ever done with MY Luca. This was not my baby. It was too good to be true.

Well, I knew I had spoken too soon and I was soon reminded of this. The first night was just a….nightmare. We slept together in my big bed and maybe was the unfamiliar place and fact that by then he was definitely overtired and over stimulated…he fucking woke up every single hour on the dot.

But with a lot of patience and a zombie-like face, mommy managed to overcome also this little obstacle and started dreaming about the peaceful weeks we had ahead of us.

(To be continued…)

DCP: A little suggestion when traveling with a baby, don’t carry 2000 pounds of stuff in your carry-on bag. I realized that all he wanted was to look around and play with whatever he had in front of him….even the food tray on the plane was unbelievingly entertaining to him. I still have a mark on my shoulder for carrying that stupid bag.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Survivor – My Husband That Is

Yeees! We made it…back! The trip to Italy was wonderful and we even ended up changing our return dates and bumped it up an extra week, leaving my poor husband all alone in his misery her in NY.

Luca was having a blast and the weather was just amazing…so it would have been really a shame to come back so soon. Plus the beach, the ocean the sun…these are all great things for Luca…right? (shhh…this is what I told my hubby over the phone when I announced that we were not coming back…hehehe).

I can’t wait to fill you in the details, but right now I’m a little bit sleepy. We landed about 30 hours ago and let me tell ya….JET-LAG IS A BITCH.

Give me a few days of sleep (yeah…I wish) and I’ll be back to shine.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Migrating To The Land Of Heavenly Food

As you probably remember (or not) from the early days of this blog, I had started a food section called “The Daily Bite”.

It has been a while since I posted anything food related and the reason is that I’m in the process of starting my own food blog. One day. When Luca starts taking 5 hours daily naps so that I can actually sit down at my computer and design the website. Chances of this happening any soon: very slim.

Anyway, I’m writing to you all to let you know that Luca and I are leaving tomorrow for Italy. We are going to visit Grandma (the chef) on the Adriatic Coast for a couple of weeks, so that Luca can spend some more time on the beach while mommy is doing a full immersion work out behind the stoves.

I’m hoping to get all the nitty gritty about food and cooking from my wonderful mom, who has already thought me so much in all these years. We will take some culinary trips to take me back to my original roots and flavors…so hopefully I’ll be back with lots of pictures!

Sounds great ha? Yeah…if I can make it alive after surviving a long plain trip and a train ride with an infant on meth.

I called the pediatrician earlier this week and asked him if there is any drug on the market powerful enough to sedate my little junkie and he suggested Benadryl. I gave it a shot yesterday, hoping that Luca’s nap would turn into this blissful 4 hours of peace and quiet.

Nope. He woke up after 1 hour, so I guess there goes the Benadryl.

We just have to hope for the best.

Just keep an eye out for any CNN breaking news where you probably will see my mug shot after a I had fight with a flight attendant, got thrown off the plane and now sit miserably in jail.

Marian – I’m following all your traveling advices and I even booked my ticket with Air France. Please note: this was a big step for me, since I’m not a big fan of the French (well…I have to admit they have some good stuff too here and there).

Mommee – I won’t have daily access to a computer so I’m really looking forward to see all your beautiful photos when I get back.

Chiara – Sorry I didn’t e-mail you back. I think I started packing about 2 weeks ago like a maniac worried to forget something, in case I’m going to a third world country or something.

Enjoy the rest of the summer…and talk to you soon!


I Wonder Why Everything Changes…

It’s absolutely amazing how your all perspective changes once you have a baby. I know this is the oldest cliché’ you’ve ever heard, but I swear, to me is still a fucking mystery.

I mean, in my pre-baby life, there was no way in hell I would’ve even pronounce the word “Jersey” (as in the state of New Jersey) without feeling repulsed and definitely erase your name for good from my buddy list.

By any standards, that’s always being the land of the borings and a little bit losers too. Or better, the “bridge and tunnel” people, as New Yorkers like to call them. These are usually natives of the afore mentioned state, individuals with no style or sense of fashion and often very loud who like to spend the weekend in Manhattan.

Once I got older and the raging hormones of motherhood left a tall on my physical and psychological being, I realized that maybe life in the fast lane is not for me anymore (I can’t believe I just said that!). A few years back it was fun to live in a one bedroom apartment in Manhattan, go out 3 to 4 times a week without caring about your massive hangovers just because you had to check out that new cool club or restaurant. I used to swear that nothing would have changed that!

Yes…that desire inside that keeps you young. The energy you have...when you DON'T have kids.

Now, it’s all a different story. I’m a wreck by the end of the day. I can barely stay up past Midnight and my best friends are a good book and a cozy duvet. I love the city, but sometimes, actually everyday, I dream of having a bigger house with a big backyard where Luca can play and run around, instead of being like a little mouse trapped in a shoebox.

My husband always makes fun of me, because he thinks I will never be able to leave the city and be a suburban soccer mom. Also with the skyrocketing prices of real estate here in New York, the only house we will be able to afford will be in Buttfuck America.
Meaning somewhere really really faraway where they’ve never heard of New York City.

Do you think I can blame the hormones for all this?

Tell me your story. Have you ever lived in a big city? Do you live in a house or apartment? Is Buttfuck America really worth it for the sanity of your kids?

DCP: If you really have to move to the burbs (read: New Jersey) it would be great to do it Tony Sopranos style. Now that’s a house I wouldn’t mind to live in...yes, (pulling the words out of my mouth) even in NJ.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Beach Bum

Here are some memories from my first trip to the beach:

(Yeahhyyy! We finally made it to the beach, man! Ohhh...this is really cool. Too bad I kinda have a beer belly though...)

(I'm gonna get you...little birdie...)

(Oh great, now she's gonna throw me in the water! Thank God I took some swimming lessons with my Daddy...so I'm basically a pro. Bring it on lady!)

(Just chilling with my Mommy. Building some sand castles and stuff... Man, I can really get used to this lifestyle! Just give me a surfboard and I'll show you who's the maaan!)

Saturday, September 1, 2007

The Volcano Has Finally Died

Well...for all of you out there who may be interested in Luca's progress in the pooping department, I'm happy to announce that everything seems to be back to normal.

I apologize to our super who, I'm sure in the past few days has probably lifted (and smelled!) a great deal of garbage bags filled with diapered poop.

I apologize to all the garbage men for not telling them that no, we have not adopted a horse or some other kind of wild animal with a chronic bowel disfunction.

With that said...tomorrow we are off to the beach, where hopefully the contact with water won't cause another volcanic eruption!

Have a great Labor Day weekend everybody!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Mama's Healthy Way

For the past few days I had the pleasure of witnessing (and cleaning up, unfortunately!) the biggest variety of poop, or better diarrhea ever existed.

Luca had a rough few days dealing with the evil colorful stuff coming out of his butt (yes, I thought I'd share every detail with you guys!) and I was honestly shocked to learn how many fucking shades of poop do exist. Really.

I have the feeling though that I had something to do with it…just a tiny tiny bit, and I tell you why. I absolutely LOVE soy milk, especially the vanilla flavored one and last week, in a moment of weakness, I gave Luca a little sip. He loved it so much that he gulped down a few more sips. Last thing I know he drank almost a whole cup!

Well…nothing wrong with it, I thought. What a good healthy little boy mama is growing here…look at him, he loves soy milk! So, while I’m all proud and happy about my little man, I’m thinking….hum…what about allergies? Noooooo, it can’t be! Soy it’s so good for you, right?

Right. But not if you are 10 months old and you’re intestine and digestive system is still the size of a peanut! So exactly 2 hours later a shit load of nasty stuff came flying out of his little butt.

Ever since that day his butt cheeks are fiery red and he screams every time I try to change his diaper. I do to. Mostly because changing his diaper now entails a mini-bath every time, to avoid irritating his skin with wipes and incorporating a 2 minutes cool air blow dry of his lower body. Sounds like fun, huh?

Well, all I can tell you is that next time I feel like sparing the moment and introducing another “fun food” to my little one…I will think about it veeeeery carefully.

Please note: I apologize for neglecting this blog in the past few days due to the obscene amount of poop-cleaning our lives were caught up with. We will keep you adjourned on the conditions and disasters caused by active baby volcano Luca. Goodnight and good luck!

Friday, August 24, 2007

Words Of Wisdom

Hey Daddy...enough porns for today!
I want to watch some sports now.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Little Magic Fingers

I have been putting it off for quite a while now, but I think it’s time to baby proof our apartment.

The little monkey is now crawling to perfection and has mastered the ability of sticking his little tiny fingers virtually everywhere. He has also developed a fascination in licking…yes, licking the electrical outlets (maybe they taste like strawberry and I don’t even know about it?) and shaking all those colorful bottles of cleaning products under the kitchen sink.

He’s also very good at making things disappear.

The other day I caught him in the bathroom, playing next to the toilet bowl with one of my hairbrushes. The moment he saw me, he just dropped it in the toilet and gave me one of those cute million dollar smiles and started digging back in the bowl in an attempt to save it.

Maybe that was a sign…you’d think?

Unfortunately I have never been a big fan of those ugly and bulky plastic ordeals that usually decorate every house with a living kid in it. Mostly because I know I will curse every time I have to open a cabinet, unlock the toilet seat or just plug in the blow dryer.

I am a pretty clumsy person by nature and I have the feeling that I will be a prisoner in my own apartment. Waiting for my husband to come home so that I can finally pee or feed myself…only because I didn’t know how to unlock the lock.

Ahh, the joy of independency and...motherhood, of course!

Daily Cool Pill: Uhhm…I wonder if Crate & Barrel or Pottery Barn will soon start making baby proofing accessories!

Monday, August 20, 2007

A Taste Of The Old Days…(Part 2)

There are only a few words to describe our Saturday night out: fun, liberating and incredibly painful.

It was definitely fun to finally have an adult conversation, while getting intoxicated with high doses of alcohol and realizing a bit too late that there is no need to reply with a: “Aaaawwwww, how cute!” every time somebody says anything.
(We definitely need more practice in the conversation department, so we agreed on the fact that we need to go out more often. Waaaaay more often.)

I felt so free and happy to actually be outside at night. And this time I wasn’t pushing a stroller with a screaming baby in it, praying that he will soon fall asleep before I did.
I was so excited that if somebody had passed around a tray of Jello shots, I would have done ‘em all.
(Trust me, you become shameless).

The only downside of the whole story …hangover is a beeatch! We came back home around 2 am, paid the babysitter and passed out on the bed completely dressed. (I’m not kidding).

Spent all day Sunday picking up the pieces.

Was it fun? Yes, definitely.

Was it worth it? Yes, if you want to keep your sanity. Hangover and all!

DCP: Note to self - Please remember to eat some kind of dinner before you decide to drink your brains out. Just a few appetizers shared between friends and 100 gallons of liquor…just won’t do it, girl!

Friday, August 17, 2007

A Taste Of The Old Days…(Part 1)

So tomorrow for the first time since Luca was born, we finally hired a babysitter and we are taking the night off.

We had a few moments of freedom in the past, but only when some of our friends felt bad for us and kicked our old asses out of the house and begged us to have some fun.

Oh, sweet smell of freedom! I can already taste it in my mouth…getting ready to go out, going crazy trying to find something to wear and ending up drunk on some fruity cocktail I will never remember the name of.

Yeah…everything sounds great. But will I be able to just chill and enjoy a night out without thinking of…(a crazy monster lady taking care of my little sweet boy, feeding him food off the floor and letting him cry alone in a corner, not giving him a little kiss goodnight, not rocking him long enough, trying on all my stuff, going through my drawers, calling Spain, Trinidad, Costa Rica and back again?)…

Oh boy, I really need a night out.

(To Be Continued…)

DCP: Reeelaaax! Babysitters are a wonderful thing and not just some evil people trying to kill your baby. And if they do, they certainly didn’t mean it.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

My Dear Little Peanut,

You are 10 months old today...already. If this can even be possible...I love you more every minute of every hour of each and every day of your life and with every breath I take.

Your loving Mommy..

Monday, August 13, 2007

Just What The Doctor Ordered

Shrinks are expensive.

Even if you have health insurance, there is no way around it and they will suck you dry.

I never thought I needed one, but living in New York City and being surrounded by all kinds of people, it’s inevitable that at one point you will encounter a good Samaritan who will kindly suggest you go see one.

Not because you need one, but just because it’s good for you. New York City is a very stressful place. You are always competing for the best job, the best husband, the best lifestyle, beautiful kids, always be thin, buy a house, buy a beach house, take tennis lessons, become a golf pro, go bankrupt and then eventually die.

So, throughout this very painful process, you better find yourself a shrink. And a good one too.

That’s why a couple of years ago, after a visit to my family doctor to request a cocktail of sleeping pills to finally put my ass to sleep and confess that most of the time food was like my security blanket, she suggested I go see a shrink. Just for my sanity.

I didn’t really think much of it in the beginning, since almost everyone I know here in the city has a shrink. I actually thought it would be cool to tell somebody whatever shit is going through your mind without being judged. Even Tony Soprano had one.

The only problem was that I actually got bored out of my mind. I mean, this lady was the best sleeping pill I’ve ever had. She was like this big 300 pounds blob of fat, slouched on a big leather chair, constantly chewing on a pencil. I used to get so depressed just looking at her.

So after about 8 sessions (see, at least I tried, right?) and $500 robbed from my wallet (that’s exactly what it felt like!), I called it a quit and decided that the best therapy for me is shopping, chocolate and sex. If you also wanna throw in the mix some good food, a little traveling and some cool jewelry, you got yourself a happy camper.

Daily Cool Pill: Nowadays the best therapy is blogging. After all, you only have a bunch of strangers reading your crazy shit and you might get some good advice here and there. Just let it out and use a corner of the Internet to express your thoughts and frustration about life, parenting, marriage or whatever goes through your mind. You never know…maybe you’ll find some other nutcase out there to keep you company!

Thursday, August 9, 2007

One Of My Favorite Picture In The Whole Wide World!

Luca's First Christmas!
This picture was taken on December 25th, 2006 and Luca was 2 months and 11 days...to be exact!

I love looking at old photos of him and of course I weep everytime. He's growing sooo fast and I wish I could capture every single moment of these very first years.

I think I win the Million Dollar prize for the dorkiest, most boring post ever...but HEY, GET OFF ME...my period is coming and I'm a basket case, so BACK OFF!

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Slow Down Please, You Little Brain Of Mine

I always heard other women commenting that after you give birth you become a full tank of ideas and inspirations. Not quite sure if this is also due to the crazy raging hormones driving you bananas or just a series of eureka moments.

All I know is that my poor little brain has never been so restless before.

I literally want to become anything and anybody.

For a few months I really wanted to become a fashion designer. Children clothing, to be exact.

All I could think of was these cute little clothes hanging all over my apartment and me happily sewing away, faster then a Chinese lady at a sweatshop.
Needless to say that even though I absolutely love fashion, I have no clue on how to use a sewing machine.

So of course, with the support of my loving husband off I go to buy a sewing machine and start taking sewing classes.

The whole thing lasted about 8 weeks…and at the end of it, I realized that I’m not really a “detailed oriented” person…and…(who knew?) you really have to be patient in order to sew a decent frock?

Then I wanted to be a nurse.

I love taking care of people, especially kids and I would do anything in my power to keep them healthy and happy.

Nothing wrong with it…you may think!

Minor detail: I faint at the sight of a drop of blood. Hmmm…now, that’s challenging!
Just imagine me trying to stick a needle in some poor innocent being...and faint at the same time (and of course I will end up poking myself to death with the same needle!).

Two months later I wanted to be a lawyer…I mean COME ON!

Is this happening to you as well, mommies out there? Please let me know…I just wanna make sure I’m ok and I won’t end up in a psych ward with no cable TV and hopefully a pair of shoelaces to hang myself!

DCP: Save yourself a bucket of cash and think twice before adventuring yourself in something you’re not really sure...like patternmaking, learning Swahili or becoming a personal trainer. They all sound very useful…but let’s be honest here: When on earth are you going to train somebody from Africa who doesn’t speak English, wearing a pair of sweatpants you designed?

Saturday, August 4, 2007

I’m Officially A…Bummy!

Yesterday was my last day at work.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I quit my job to become a full time mommy…or better, a Bummy (mix between a bum and a mommy!).

I’m happy to be able to spend more time with Luca, but at the same time terrified that I will have a nervous breakdown!

See…until now, my part-time job took about 30 hours a week away from him and in a way it’s always been my “escape” from baby land. It was my grown up time, with no crying, spitting or stinky diapers. No matter how stressful my day would be, I always tried to convince myself that this was my sanctuary.

And I needed it to keep my sanity.

Until I realized that I had enough of my job.

I was tired of babysitting celebrities, tired of their whining, criticism and constant need for something. I already have a baby at home! (hmm...actually three, if you count the husband and the dog).

So here I am.

Starting my new life as a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom…sorry I had to spell it out to see what it looks like).

Trying to think of all the possible games, play dates and tricks to entertain a 10 month old without freaking out and suddenly desire a career as a street cleaner.

I’m sure I will love every minute of it and hope is a very good thing!

Daily Cool Pill: There are always baby sitters though...right?

Monday, July 30, 2007

Clap, Clap, Clap…(Here goes another milestone!)

Saturday afternoon we attended one of Luca’s little friend’s birthday party. Sofia (the little friend) was 1 year old and threw a lovely bash in Central Park.

This was the very first party (and I’m sure one of many) Luca ever attended and it was so cute to watch him play with other little ones.

He was the “baby” of the group since everybody else was very close in age to the birthday girl…but he definitely stood up for himself.

He watched them very carefully, trying to imitate every movement, including walking (and falling on his butt…of course!) and I was amazed when he started clapping away with a big smile on his face.

There he was…my little boy had conquered yet again another milestone and I was so proud of him.

He’s been clapping ever since...

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Sweet Notes

Today while we were sitting in the park, Luca handed me a little blue piece of paper. It was something he had found on the grass while playing and it was a folded note with a poem written on it.

I was very fascinated by it and started wondering about it. Maybe these were the words of a young teenager in love, or maybe those of a loving spouse. Or maybe those of a famous poet.

This is what it says:

If ever a truth or love be told,
If ever was cherished of growing old,
If ever was warmed whenever was cold,
If ever's forever then everything is you...

If pure could be written or shivers sang,
Or touch could be spoken or looks exhaled,
If tingles and tears could be given through this,
Then I'd give you all that in one sweet kiss...

If nothing was all,
If ever had been
If nothing need be but the place nothing's in,
If you were just you and I me,
We'd be as happy as any could be...

(Keep digging for little treasures, my sweet little boy!).

Monday, July 23, 2007

Spin City

One of my favorite activities to do with my little one has always been walking.
I enjoy taking long strolls around the city with Luca happily observing the world around him (until he gets bored and starts screaming at the other pedestrians).

And boy, I love pushing that stroller! Sometimes I get so competitive (with myself) that I start speed walking around the city like a mad woman. I go uptown, downtown east or west…you name it and I want to go there. I just wish I had a little horn attached to the buggy to clear my way from all the clumsy New Yorkers.

Train? What train? If I just think about the hassle of going up and down the stairs with the stroller, waiting for it and having to deal with all the crazy people on it…no, thank you. I much rather walk.

Maybe the desire comes from the fact that this is really the only type of exercise I ever do and before I turn fifty and have the muscle tone of an anchovy, I better do something about it.

(Actually anchovies swim, so I’m pretty sure they need some muscles for that!)

Or maybe it has to do with the fact that my mom never had a driving license so she used to drag me around the city like a little donkey, until I actually started to enjoy it because of the gigantic ice-cream-reward-deal I used to get out of it.

My reward now is a protein bar...which probably has way more fat and calories then an ice cream anyway.

Oh, screw it!

Haagen-Dazs here I come!

DCP: If you want to keep it a little lighter and not constantly feel guilty for slurping down your usual pint of coffee-vanilla-Belgian-chocolate, try Pinkberry’s frozen yogurt. It is much lighter then a regular ice cream and they trick you down with the option of adding 3 fruit toppings of your choice…so you’re actually believing it’s good for you!
It’s really low calories though….just don’t eat a gallon a day (hmm…like I do!).

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Little Man Talking

Nine months and one week:

"Mamamamamamama" (Nope, even if he says it...he still doesn't mean it!).

"Dadadadadadadadad" (Yes, daddy...he still doesn't mean yours either, so don't flatter yourself!).

"Babababababababa" (A very primitive bye-bye, usually accompanied by a little waving hand).

"Pffft....pffft...pffft" (Little mouth farts that inevitably shower my face with drools!).

Oh boy, we've got a loooong way to go (...and I've got to remember to switch back into grown up voice when not addressing or talking to the baby!).

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Daddy's boy

"Don't know why I'm always stuck with these dry Cheerios -
Mom, pass me the bowl of chips and salsa...and a cold one please!"

Monday, July 16, 2007

Gated Community

My ferocious research in the past few days for the perfect baby gate…has finally paid off. I searched the net like a mad woman, reading each and every review about every possible playpen and baby gate ever invented…until I found it!


Have you ever tried to entertain a nutty 9 month old for 32 hours a day? (Yes, the days are very long when you have kids).

Well, I tried and honestly there is only so much peek-a-booing, funny faces and rolling of the eyes a mother can take before cracking under pressure and start shopping around for a cute doggy gate…er…I mean playpen.

The moment I clicked “Buy now” on the Target website I started daydreaming about my lost freedom. What does it feel like to actually go to the bathroom without being reminded that you only have 5 seconds to do your business?

Or getting dressed without the constant fear of actually leaving the house in your pj’s…because, yes you do remember taking it off, but you really don’t remember putting it back on?

I can’t even tell you when UPS rang my doorbell to deliver the goodies. I was in heaven.

It was assembled in the blink of an eye and baby Luca was happily cruising around like a show dog.


I just hope I didn’t end up compromising the whole living room space for what looks like a mini amusement park and end up again with a bored kid. It’s only being 3 days since we had it and so far no complaints.

I know at one point I will probably have to crawl in there and play with him to keep him busy…but until that day I’m gonna enjoy adulthood a little longer.

DCP: If your husband complains about the fact that you're buying waaay to many toys to keep your little one busy…remind him that it’s just for your own sanity. Happy baby = Happy wife = Happy husband!

Friday, July 13, 2007

Mean People

Today I was cruising around Old Navy, looking to buy some shorts for Luca and of course minding my own business…when I saw a cute little stripy dress. I immediately grabbed two different colors and went into the dressing room to try them on.

I couldn’t really see myself in the small mirror inside my cubicle and I didn’t really trust Luca’s funny facial expressions so I decided to use the big mirror outside.
While I was playing around with both dresses to see which color would suit me best…this heavy set lady came over to me and said:
“Oh, I saw that dress downstairs and I almost tried it on…it looks pretty on you!”…then she looked at my belly area, Luca and me again and said: “It’s not a maternity dress…is it?”

I almost ripped her eyes out and shouted: “Laaady, shut your big mouth. You are 350 pounds and I’m sure if I were you I would rather pretend I’m pregnant then just plain fat! And even if this dress WAS a maternity dress…what fucking difference does it make to you anyway?”

You know, I can totally take a comment like that from a tall skinny supermodel, because…yes, I still have those 5 pounds hanging over my shoulders and they just won’t go away. But from heeer?

(Sorry…today I woke up on the wrong side of the bed).

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

10 obvious signs that show you’re not really a grown up yet

1) Every time you take a trip or visit a new city, you bounce up and down on your hotel bed with excitement.

2) You feel and shake presents before opening them.

3) Planning a party or a vacation throws you in a complete state of excitement that you can’t sleep at night.

4) Getting ready with a friend is as good as going out. Often even better.

5) You respond to your mom’s questions by rolling your eyes.

6) You are always thrilled by being able to order anything you want from a menu.

7) Sometimes your lunch consists of dry cereal.

8) You are still shopping for clothes at Forever 21.

9) You can't resist licking the cake bowl.

10) Disneyworld is the best fun you have ever had.

Well...cheer up..you're not alone!

Sunday, July 8, 2007


The world has gone mad.

Yes, the world has gone mad about a phone. No doubts it is one of the greatest phones ever invented, I have to admit, being a HUGE Mac fan…but still.

It is one of the most talked about gadgets in the history of technology.

I remember the day I saw the TV commercial for the first time, I was like a little kid in a candy store. It looked like the coolest thing ever…and the music, the music was just so sweet. Everybody has being waiting for this little piece of perfection to finally come out and play. Well…it did, at a very sweet price too!

What amazes me the most is that even my son is totally in love with it (I guess even at the tender age of eight months he feels entitled to have one). Mostly with the TV commercial. You should see how is little face brightens up every time he hears that song. He could be wailing and kicking, but the moment that commercial is on he becomes the sweetest baby on the block, with a big smile on his face. He just stares at the TV screen in complete adoration. Sometimes I even rewind it and play it over and over (don’t’ you love DVR?).

I’m just waiting for the day he will open his mouth and say his first sentence and I will not be surprised if he says: “Mommy, I want an iPhone!”

After all, I want one too.

DCP: It is the perfect gadget for busy moms. The resolution is amazing and you can take so many beautiful pictures of you little ones. You just have to justify to yourself why are you spending $500/600 for a phone? For the price I was hooping it will come complete with a maid, a nanny and a personal chef!

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Indipendence Day

Happy 4th of July everyone!

Enjoy this very special day dedicated to America’s most famous barbeques, to spectacular fire works and street parades, but most of all to the best excuse to boozing up all afternoon with your family and friends.

Today nothing bothers you. You’ve got a beer in one hand and a hot dog in the other. Shush the kids away or hand them over to total strangers who keep repeating how cute they are.

Show off your little 5” by 5” New York roof deck that can barely fit a grill, but hey, after all, you've got one and your guests can always take turns for a breath of fresh air..right?

Yes, enjoy this very special day dedicated to your country and it’s ok to feel a little patriotic…alcohol does play little tricks sometimes.

Remember: Do not operate heavy machinery under the influence. Yes, this does include a grill. And you will definitely know you had one too many when you start taking Bush’s side and feel sorry for Sanjaya because he didn’t make it to the final of American Idol.

Happy Birthday America!

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Doggy Life

Besides being the proud parents of a very energetic, a bit neurotic and definitely adorable baby boy, my husband and I also have a little daughter. Not exactly a human being, but more in the form of a canine being. Her name is Dolce and she is a 3 and half pound teacup Maltese dog.

We got her about 4 years ago when she was barely 2 months old and resembled the size of a grapefruit.

Needless to say that she has always been the indisputable Queen of the house…until of course King Luca made his appearance.

She used to be the center of the attention pretty much 24 hours a day and subconsciously our very primitive parenting test. We used to joke around that if we ever killed the little dog…we would never even consider a baby.

So you can just imagine her disappointment when all of a sudden this little screaming sack of potatoes named Luca, took over the whole apartment.

She went from being the Queen Bee to Second Class Citizen.

From sleeping 21 hours a day, to barely taking a full nap without being pulled 25 times by the ears or tail.

Of course Luca has an admiration for this little white furry thing. Who wouldn’t. He stares at her, laughs at her and wants to bite a piece of her on a daily basis.

So it was with a sight of relief that while we were away, Dolce spent the last few days in a little doggy spa.

Yes. Go ahead, have a laugh. I would too. After all, we are the dummy ones stuck with the in-laws, while the bloody dog is having the time of her life. And she usually hates those places, giving me always the bad looks when I drop her off…like I’m actually abandoning her.

Not this time.

This time she was so happy to see the attendant that didn’t even bother to say goodbye.

When I picked her up today, she looked pampered, relaxed and without any dark circles under her eyes.

While of course I looked like a train wreck after spending an exhausting weekend on a 3 hours sleep per night because of a teething infant scared of a crappy hotel crib.

C’est la vie!

DCP: Dear husband, don’t even think that I spent the past weekend zombing around, loaded on caffeine and chocolate while trying to look pretty for your family for nothing.
I think I very well deserve a few hours of bliss…like, let’s say…(hint) a full body massage (minimum 180 minutes), a foot massage (at least 30 minutes) and a facial treatment. You can just drop off the gift certificate on my desk or place it under my pillow, if you prefer. Love ya!

Friday, June 29, 2007

All Aboard the Choo Choo Train

Mohawks and Dirty Diapers is taking a couple of days off.

We are boarding the choo choo train to the faraway land of…Pennsylvania, to visit the in-laws.

So after carefully choosing every item necessary to feed, change and entertain the little monster and after packing enough crap to last me a month in the desert, I’m proud to announce that it only took me about 3 hours, from start to finish! Not bad…huh?!

Total of days away from home: 3.

Total bags: 3, plus diaper bag and stroller.

Total amount of bags for my husband and I: Half (no joke).

Total amount of outfits for Luca: 18 (in case vomiting or diarrhea strikes and we are left in the middle of nowhere. To which I’m not quite sure why we would need all these clothes anyway….but you know, better be safe).

Total amount of diapers: 35.

Total amount of toys: A whole bag (in case I will have to impersonate different cartoon characters, for the joy of all the other passengers).

I also, involuntarily grabbed Vogue, Bazaar and my journal, but then quickly realized that I was just kidding myself.

Like I would seriously have the time to read or write….ever again?

Well…let’s look at it this way folks: I have exactly 17 years, 3 months, 16 days, 1 hour, 29 minutes and…5 seconds until I get my freedom back.

Does that make me a bad mommy?

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Unconditional Love

Me: Ughh…my boobs are starting to sag, don’t you think?

Hubby: No babe, you’re crazy. You look beautiful.

Me: I can’t get rid of these last few pounds.

Hubby: No babe. You’re perfect.

Me: My tummy will never look the same. After the third kid I will definitely have some work done. Maybe a tummy-tuck and a little augmentation…of the twins, that is. So that you’ll have something to play with as you grow old, my love.

Hubby: No babe. You look beautiful the way you are. Who’s having three kids?

Me: Focus baby, focus. Boobs. Think boobs.

Hubby: Right.

(Me on trying to convince my husband to eventually have three kids. One day. Maybe.)

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Fashion Forward

Let’s forget for a minute that you have kids and you’re back to your pre-baby-pre-husband-pre-everyday-married-routine.

Back to the days when you really didn’t have to worry about the color choice of your outfit because nobody would have puked on you or smudged you with peanut butter and jelly. When all your worries were just about the length of you dress or the slutty-ness of your miniskirt. Ahh…those were the days!

Well, just when I thought that white was never to be found in my closet again, unless I decided to dust off my wedding dress and wear it for Halloween, here I see this pretty little number (see photo).

I mean, it’s not something you really would wear everyday to drop off the kids at school or grocery shopping, but it’s exactly what I would were if I was invited to one of my imaginary friend’s pool party.

Yes, one of those really cool summer parties you always hear about it, but you are never invited anymore because now you have a kid and therefore you resemble the plague.

DCP: You can always dress up for a fun afternoon of shopping and...food splattering with your little one. After all, there is nothing catchier then a sexy mama who takes care of herself...especially around the kids! (I just don’t know what a white dress would look like at the end of the day….sigh!).

Sunday, June 24, 2007

The Daily Bite: Insalata Estiva

(Summer Salad)

There were always a few dishes my mom used to make for us on a regular basis during the summer months in Italy and one of those was this really yummy salad. Often we used to spend long days at the beach, and I was always very excited to see what my mom had packed for lunch.

While some of my little friends could only rely on the same boring sandwich, I definitely had, most of the time, a pretty wide menu to choose from. There was always some sort of salad, a gourmet sandwich, often made with Focaccia bread (my favorite) and a little something sweet to end the meal.

This salad was frequently present on our “beach menu” for its simplicity and incredibly refreshing taste. It is rich of vitamin C and antioxidants and I love how the zesty vinaigrette brings all the flavors together.

It was also an easy way to make me eat beans, which, according to my mom, are really good for you!

Servings: 4

For the vinaigrette:

Juice of one lime
1 ½ tablespoon of extra-virgin olive oil
Hot pepper sauce to taste
A pinch of garlic salt

For the salad:

1 can (15 oz) of black beans, rinsed and drained
1 can (8.75 oz) of corn kernels, drained
1 tomato, seeded and chopped
2 oz. of fresh mozzarella, cubed
¼ cup finely chopped red onion
2 tablespoon of fresh minced cilantro

In a little bowl whisk together all the vinaigrette ingredients and pour it on the salad. Cover with some plastic wrap to keep the flavors in and let it sit for at least 20 minutes.
Serve at room temperature.

For a lighter version you can skip the mozzarella.

Buon Appetito!

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Out of Business

I have to admit, I was a little bit shocked today when Luca, totally out of the blue, grabbed my left boob and tried to suck on it.
I mean, I wasn’t super surprised because after all I breastfed him until a couple of months ago, but it was just the way he did it and the look on his face that made me chuckle.

Let me just remind you that I had stopped breastfeeding him, not because I was tired of it (although my nose will probably grow a few feet if I swear to you that I’ve never dreamt of not having anybody sucking, licking and chewing on my tatas for a little while…just a little while), but only because Mr. - I’m too old to be still sucking on your booby - son Luca, decided that solid food was much more cool and tastier then the old cow’s juice.


So it was with some kind of sinister pleasure and just a little bit of sadness that I had announced to the world that my shop was officially closed. That’s it. Finito. Out of business. The cow has retired.

I didn’t say: Please, come back later, Your Majesty, whenever you feel like it and we’ll whip up some fresh organic, pasteurized, certified grade A mama’s juice. Nope.
Sorry kid. You had it. You were the one and only little sucker who had access to his own private bar, ANYTIME you wanted and you let it go.

It was fun though to watch the disappointed look on his face. It also took him a couple of squeezes to finally realize that the little twins are now deflated, before he decided to move on to more important things, like the remote control.

Daily Cool Pill: If you are still breastfeeding, try to protect your precious tatas from any unnecessary pulling, tugging, chewing and any underage act of vandalism in general. You will be very thankful one day when you won't have to put on your bra one leg at the time!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Little Magic Bean

So, after gulping down about 5 galloons of coffee and looking like an old car in need of some serious pimping, I finally feel semi-human again.

Coming from a country where coffee is definitely the official beverage, it’s with no surprise that I have to confess my lifelong adoration and of course, addiction to this wonderful bean. Especially after a night spent in admiration of the country of Mexico and their beloved Tequila.

I don’t think I know one single person in Italy who doesn’t drink coffee, in one way or the other. Some people prefer a strong and energetic espresso, while others prefer a milder version like cappuccino or latte.

Me, I can drink it all.

Especially after nine long months of pregnancy where I was only allowed one lousy daily cup of this wonderful poison and the rest just meaningless decaf, I could not wait to give birth and swim in a pool of delightful java.

Even though caffeine has a really bad rap, I am usually willing to ignore it, especially when it comes down to the fact that without it, I won’t even be able to get out of bed.
Let alone dealing with work, Luca, the nannies at the park and my obnoxious neighbors.

I’m always looking for that little energy buzz to get me through the day. It could be a nice and foamy latte or a blissful chocolate bar. Most likely anything with sugar will do it.

The only tiny bit problem is that my old body is now totally addicted to anything sweet. So on a really bad day I will have to chow down the equivalent amount of sugar you’ll find in a candy aisle at the supermarket.

I’m also starting to believe that I’m one of those lucky beeeatches who can “almost” eat anything and blame it on her fast metabolism. I say almost because I’m not 100% sure yet, but I know that with all the sugar I eat on a daily basis, Moby Dick would look like my skinny twin.

DCP: If you feel guilty about drinking too much coffee, Green Tea is the healthy alternative to a black cup of java. It’s full of antioxidants and other really good stuff. Doesn’t really taste as good as a cappuccino, but it will probably double your life expectancy!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Get Out of My Head

Last night I went out with a bunch of colleagues. Got drunk. Really drunk. Today, feeling really wrong. My brain is not functioning properly and need to take little breaks here and there. Don’t really know what I was thinking, but I guess I wanted to feel young and stupid again and chuckled down shot after shot.

As a result, didn’t really feel young, just stupid. And I ended up hugging a very old friend of mine..the toilet bowl.

Today was rough and had the feeling that somebody was constantly banging on my head. Oh, yes…Luca.

I promise I will never drink again...ever.

Or at least until next time.

DCP: I'm in no position to suggest anything cool today. But I will gladly take any suggestion on how to cure hangovers, motion sickness, head spinning and feeling like crap in general.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Little Bits of Wisdom

Women love a bargain. The question of “need” is irrelevant, so don’t even bother pointing it out.

Women never have anything to wear. Don’t question the racks of clothes in the closet. You “just don’t understand”.

Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty. That’s what we do.

Women need to feel that there are people worse off then they are. That’s why soap operas and Oprah-type shows are so successful.

Women think all beer is the same.

Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower.

Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'

All women are overweight by definition, don't argue with them about it.

All women are overweight by definition, don't agree with them about it.

Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what they're doing. It might be the lottery calling.

Most men hate to shop. That’s why the men’s section is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

A good place to meet a man is the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That’s why men need instant replay in sports. They have already forgotten what happened.

Male menopause is a lot more fun then female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause – they get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

The Daily Bite: Daddy’s Favorite

Yes, my dear old man…today is your first Father’s Day. If it didn’t hit you already that you have a son…well, today shall be the day you finally get a kick in the balls!

You will get your first Hallmark card with some cute (and super silly) daddy poem and Luca and I will cook your favorite dinner. No honey, no burgers, hot dogs or pizza.

Today you will use any little excuse to have a drink...and it’s ok, you deserve it.


My husband loves my mussels recipe…so this is what he’s getting for dinner tonight. This is one of the best recipes you will ever taste, because of the crunchy bread, the overdose of garlic and the juiciness of the tomatoes. If you try it, I would love to hear your comments…so please drop me a line!

Zuppa di Cozze

Servings: 4

3 lbs. of mussels
12 oz. of ripe vine tomatoes
Splash of dry white wine
Fresh parsley
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Salt and Pepper

Wash the mussels under fresh water, clean them and pull away any pieces of protruding beard. In a medium pot, warm up 2 tablespoons of oil and let the mussels open up.
Start placing the open mussels in a large 3 inch deep serving plate.
Filter the cooking juices, add a little splash of dry white wine to taste and set aside.
Prepare the sauce by warming up 3 tablespoons of oil and 3 cloves of garlic, finely chopped. Cut the tomatoes in small pieces and add them to the oil and the garlic. When they become tender, add the mussels juice and a tablespoon of chopped parsley. Add salt and pepper (usually you need to add a generous amount of pepper, since it will give the sauce a wonderful flavor and it will taste great with the mussels) and pour the sauce over the mussels. Serve right away with some slices of toasted bread.

Toasted bread:

I like to prepare a nice bruschetta bread to enjoy with the mussels. I usually buy a whole baguette, slice it sideways so that the slices are a bit longer and thicker. Toast the bread in the oven for a few minutes and when it’s done rub it with some garlic and a few drops of olive oil. When the sauce from the mussels will soak into the bread you will taste an incredible combination of different flavors.
The best wine to pair with this dish is definitely a white, young and dry Pinot Grigio.

Buon Appetito!

Friday, June 15, 2007

Daily Classifieds

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa

Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent
communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable
hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour
shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments
in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier
duties also required.

The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least
temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue
repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and
be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this
time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small
gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must
screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of
multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize
social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be
willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must
handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap,
plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the
best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete
accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also
include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without
complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that
those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a
continually exhausting basis.

Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon
payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college
will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give
them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme
is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this
job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs
for life if you play your cards right.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Please help me forget…

Today my little man turned 8 months. His birthday present was a visit to the pediatrician for his bi-monthly check-up, a shot, a blood test and a-so-close-it-scared-the-crap-out-of-me-visit-to-the-ER.
Yes…you got it right…ER.

This is how it went:

Cool Mama: “La…la...la… off we go to the doc, Luca. I know honey it sucks that you have to get a shot on your birthday. Mommy tried to change the appointment, but there was nothing available for next week. Don’t worry, we will be so fast…you won’t even feel it!”.

Luca: “What are you talking about, you crazy lady. Of course I will feel it, I’m gonna have a needle in my leg…you wacko!”

Little we knew that included in the today’s visit there was also a blood test. I can still hear him screaming his lungs out, while the doc was poking his finger.
After a few minutes of hysterical wailing he finally calmed down and off we go, ready to make our way back home.

My husband and I were so busy calming Luca down that we didn’t really pay attention to the doc warning of keeping an eye on Luca’s band-aid. Yes, he had a little band-aid on the finger where the blood was drawn and I remember a little tickle in my ear…similar to the doc’s voice, telling us: “Keep the strip on for a little bit and make sure he doesn’t swallow it…swallow it…swallow it (this is the echo in my brain!)”. Well…you just go ahead and guess what happened?

Yep…we were strolling back home when all of a sudden I hear Luca coughing and gagging.... I knew he had swallowed the band-aid.
I started panicking. I mean, REALLY panicking. My little man needed help right away. So while my husband was frantically trying to get it out, I dialed 911.
I did my best to stay calm, but tears were coming down and for the first time I was really scared for his life.

The operator was asking way to many questions and I almost lost it…my baby was choking for God’s sake…help!
She wanted to know if he had foam around his mouth and if he was blue. I almost fainted when I saw a little foamed saliva coming out of his mouth…that was it. I felt like somebody was stabbing me in the chest over and over and over.

Then…the miracle happened. He started crying and I knew he was ok. My little hero was trying to tell me that I didn’t have to worry about him and that he would never leave me.
His beautiful face was drenched with tears, but he still managed to smile at me.

Unfortunately, I will never forget this day. I had failed to protect him and it’s the worst feeling in the whole world. I had failed as a mother and I fear he’ll never forgive me.

Later the pediatrician told me not to worry. That this happens all the time and that he will poop it out tomorrow. Still. I should have been more careful.

Please forgive me, my little angel and may God watch over you forever and ever.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Breakfast in bed…anyone?

I don’t know why, but I always thought that having a baby entailed spending every night wide awake trying to console the little insomniac and being a total messy-sleep-deprived-nutcase during the day. While your little one is peacefully sleeping, of course.

During my last month of pregnancy, I tried to prepare myself, physically and mentally to waking up at the wee hours (ok…maybe not so much physically, but more mentally!)and pictured myself getting ready to take the baby out for a walk at 6 am.

The problem is that anybody who knows me or who has ever met me, would simply dying laughing at the thought of mee? Waking up at what time? To take who out? Yeah…that’s how much I LOVE to sleep.

Luckily, I have to admit, I never had to deal with this, since my little one is usually out cold by 9 pm and doesn’t wink until 12 hours later. When he finally wakes up, he has a little breakfast, plays around for another hour or so and then is out cold again for his morning nappy. So basically, we are never out of the house before 2 or 3 in the afternoon.

DON’T GET ME WRONG...I’m loving it (and sorry for the little brag), but I feel like sleep wise my life hasn’t changed, thank God! There are the occasional cries in the middle of the night when he’s having those famous “night terrors” (what are those anyway? Is he crying because he’s dreaming of a little monkey swinging on top of his head? Or is it a giant cat, scaring the bejesus out of him?) or when he pooped his pants…but that’s about it.

Alright, great...now I officially jinx it and I will spend the rest of my life living like a zombie, with chronic dark circles under my eyes and hooked on crack cocaine.

Well…at least I'll be skinny!

Daily Cool Pill: For the occasional dark circles, due to a long night out, where you had waaay too many drinks and you ended up at that place…what’s the name of that bar that you like so much? Er…ooohh…sorry, that was my previous life!
I was saying…for those occasional dark circles, due to the stress of motherhood, try the Yves Saint Laurent Radiant Touch Concealer. It’s very light on your skin, without the cakey texture of a heavy concealer and brightens up your skin at the same time. I love it!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Gotta love a good bargain...

A man walks into a toy store to get a Barbie doll for his daughter’s birthday. So he asks the assistant: "How much is Barbie?"

"Well," she says, "we have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00."

"Hey, hang on," the guy asks, "why is Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95?"

"Yeah, well, you see ... Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture….and Ken's best friend!

Monday, June 11, 2007

Honey, hold the baby while I puke some more

Today is not a good day. I feel really yucky…like, you know that bad-stomach-belly-pain-that-makes-you-believe-you-have-a-bug-or-the-flu-but-you-are-not-really-sure-so-you-blame-it-on-something-you-ate? Yes, that one!
No, no…calm down… I’m not pregnant. Unless, the invisible man took me in my sleep.
Naaaah, impossible!

Anyway…feeling really sluggish today and don’t have the energy to tell you all the good stuff I had in mind.
Gotta run to the bathroom…again. Yeah…I think you got the picture.


Sunday, June 10, 2007

The Daily Bite: Il Panino del Contadino

(The Farmer’s Sandwich)

I decided to post this recipe after reading one of my favorite food blog called: Il Cavoletto di Bruxelles.

Due to my recent obsession with food blogs, I wanted to share with you this very simple and incredibly tasty panino recipe.
The sweet flavor of the mortadella combined with the saltiness of the ricotta salata and the tanginess of the peppers make for the ultimate gourmand’s experience.

So here it goes:

In a small cup marinade some roasted red and yellow peppers that you can buy already prepared in a can (I like to make my own...but that's another story, or better, another recipe!). Cut them in thin slices and let them marinade in a little bit of extra virgin olive oil, salt and pepper (I usually prefer black pepper, but you can also add red pepper flakes for the extra kick!). Add about 1 quarter cup of balsamic vinegar and let it sit for half an hour.

Cut 2 slices of Tuscan bread (or sourdough, if you prefer). Place some mortadella on the bottom, top it with a couple of slices of ricotta salata (salted ricotta). This is usually firmer then the regular fresh ricotta and I usually prefer the soft type (aged 6 months) to the harder one (aged 9 months).

If you are in the mood for a fresher and lighter taste, mozzarella can be used as well, instead of the ricotta.

Spread the peppers on top of the ricotta adding some of the vinegar and oil mixture.
You can either warm up your “beautiful creation” on the panini press or you can simply toast the bread in advance.

Bon appetito, Sigrid!
…..e famme sape’ se tte’ piaciuto!

Friday, June 8, 2007

Goldilocks vs. Mr. T

For quite a few weeks now, I have been contemplating the idea and suppressing the sudden desire of cutting my hair short.
I believe it has to do with the fact that summer is here or maybe because I can’t deal anymore with the pounding headaches due to Luca pulling on it…constantly.

The little dude is hooked on mama’s hair. So far right now it’s the best toy available on the market and he just won’t let it go. Somehow he always manages to get his little hands stuck on the most painful spots…like the nape of my neck or the temples (you know what I mean, those very sensitive areas that make your eyes fill with tears and your nose bleed).

The first thing that came to mind was obviously a Mohawk. Nothing crazy, rainbow colored or mullet-like.

Then, after the frightened look on my stylist’s face, I realized that short hair is not really for me and that I actually look like a mental patient ready to be locked up.
Now all I do, of course, is dream of little pixie haircuts, like the one Michelle Williams is sporting lately or really cool bleached blond bobs, a la Kate Bosworth.

My hair is really course, red and I have a lot of it. A few years ago, when I used to live in Japan (yeah…I used to be cool…remember?), I actually dared to dye my hair platinum blond. The result was catastrophic and, if that wasn’t enough, I decided to use a hair straightener on top of the bleach. Needless to say, my hair totally melted (in the real sense of the word!) and after begging and blathering (try to imagine me, talking Japanese in a broken English, with an Italian accent) in vain, my very talented Japanese hairdresser had no choice but to give me a sweet old Rod-Stewart-like-haircut. (I had a mullet…and you only wish I was joking!)

Yet, I must be a masochist, because that should’ve been enough to scar me for life and let my hair grow like a Rapunzel.
Unfortunately, knowing myself and being a very stubborn cookie, I will probably end up with a Mohawk. If that happens….you will be the first ones to know, share my pain and yes, admire my shameful photos!

DCP: Wigs, wigs, wigs! They exist for a reason…right??

Updates on previous post: Paris is back in jail, by the way.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Living la Vida Loca

So, after only 5 days in jail, today Paris Hilton was set free. Oh…I’m sorry, yes…house arrest. Big fucking deal, anyway!

Uhh…I guess it must be really hard to be confined in your own home when you live in a mansion. Probably she will have to organize her next 40 days so that she doesn’t get bored spending too much time in the same room.

Yes, she will have to make some executive decisions, like taking a bubble bath or a swim in the indoor pool without the risk of being electrocuted (by the bracelet!). Or nibbling on some more liver pate’ while shopping on line with her little doggy Tinkerbell (it's scary how I even know the name of it!).

Yeah…I guess I should give the girl some credit, after all, she did last 5 whole days.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Road Tripping

Since the day I became a “Legal Alien” of the United States of America, I always thought about getting my driver’s license. I know, I know… It sounds a bit retarded, but I used to have one, back in Italy which I obtained with a good dose of cheating and an old friend at the DMV. It really didn’t make a difference to me since Italians are well known to be really bad drivers anyway. Then I moved to London and I didn’t even dare to drive on the other side of the road, (it was hard enough trying not to kill anybody during my occasional errands in my own country!) so my poor license was stashed at the bottom of a drawer and eventually completely lost.

After I met my husband, we were both making fun of each other because neither of us had a proper driver’s license. He is the typical New Yorker who uses taxis, trains and the occasional bus around town and I pretty much like to walk everywhere.

Needless to say that since Luca came along, I have been dreaming about these beautiful long road trips we would take over the weekends (traffic? what traffic?...in my dreams there is no such a thing), while my husband is napping in the passenger seat, Luca is happily chewing on his stuffed cow, Floyd and Norah Jones is playing in the background.
I am behind the wheel (Oh Lord!), happily humming the sweet tunes and taking in the beautiful view of the countryside.

Yes, it’s because of this dream that every single week I pick up my little DMV book, ready to study for the test and inevitably…I get bored to death!
Then I start bitching and moaning to my husband on why we never drive anywhere and why HE doesn’t have a driver’s license and blah…blah and this is when he starts making fun of the way I drive the stroller.

Ok, I have to admit that my poor son, Luca, must have motion sickness every time I push him around in his Bugaboo. I am the kind of person who likes to multi-task. That doesn’t necessarily mean I’m good at it. I like to talk, eat my protein bar, touch up my lipgloss and occasionally paying attention to where I’m going. So after running over my husband’s feet a few times and crashed into a couple of trees…let’s just say he doesn’t really trust me as a driver.

At the end of the day, I guess we are just a couple of lazy people stuck on public transportation for the rest of our lives…or until we realize that with all the money we waste in taxis we could have own a Lamborghini.

DCP: Don’t be such a goofball like me and study for your license if you don’t have one!