Little Bits of Wisdom

Women love a bargain. The question of “need” is irrelevant, so don’t even bother pointing it out.

Women never have anything to wear. Don’t question the racks of clothes in the closet. You “just don’t understand”.

Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty. That’s what we do.

Women need to feel that there are people worse off then they are. That’s why soap operas and Oprah-type shows are so successful.

Women think all beer is the same.

Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower.

Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'

All women are overweight by definition, don't argue with them about it.

All women are overweight by definition, don't agree with them about it.

Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what they're doing. It might be the lottery calling.

Most men hate to shop. That’s why the men’s section is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

A good place to meet a man is the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That’s why men need instant replay in sports. They have already forgotten what happened.

Male menopause is a lot more fun then female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause – they get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.