Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Beauty and the Beast


I wish they would have told me how bloody painful your first period is after you give birth. I mean, really…what’s all the cramping, backache and mood swings?
I was blessed enough not to have it back right away, but I stopped breastfeeding a few weeks ago…and there it is, on the dot, with a huge grin on his face (yes, my period has a face…so what?...boy I gotta stop the crack!).

I can hear it laughing and saying: “I’m baaaaack! You seriously thought I was gone for good? Ohhh…poor thing!”

(No seriously…what’s wrong with me?)

Anyway, the beast is back and I can’t move or leave the house without a triple dose (yes, enough to kill a horse) of Midol, Ibuprofen, Advil, Motrin, Xanex (I wish) or whatever legal (and illegal) stuff I have around.
Last night I also went off at my husband about a stupid roasted chicken. I was going on and on and on, to the point that I sounded so stupid (even to my own ears), but it was too late to admit it (I am a very proud chick!)… So I had to keep going until I burst into laughter.

Well, let’s look at the bright side: I only have 3 more days to go!

Daily Cool Pill: My grandma always used to give me a shot of strong liquor to kill the pain (yes, us Italians believe in natural remedies!), so I have been on a Tequila diet for the past 24 hours. The occasional shot does the trick, but if you’re looking for a tastier treat...Margaritas is the way to go, girl!

Hasta la vista, baby!

2 comments:

Marian said...

hahahah a tequila diet! see, I never heard of that one before! I just pump enough pills to make an elephant take a nap...and still...

I couldnt breastfeed for too long, so the beast showed his head much sooner...not nice, back to the whole hastle. And dissapoinment too. I was told by my GYN that after a birth, your periods are less painfull... yeaah right...now they are painful and you are stressed out running after a baby who wants to 'explore the world" .... who are you, freaking Colombus?? stay still for a second!

I had a day today... anyway...I need tequila too.

Cool Mama said...

Hi Marian!

I hear you ,girl! They told me the same crap as well...less pain...blah, blah. Plus if you complain, everybody makes you feel bad about it, like: Oh, come on...you had a baby coming out of your body and now you're crying about a little cramping?(!!!)"
I swear...I want to kill those people!
Here I come Margarita...my new BFF!!

CM