For the past week or so I have this incredible desire of having another baby. It’s something that I can’t really explain, like a sudden urge that takes up your all body and mind and won’t let go.
It started with just the idea of what life would be with another little boy or girl. Then it became kind of a curiosity to see how Luca would react with a sibling. Would he be jealous, caring and loving towards a little sister or just a little selfish animal with a younger brother?
Then the idea became a possibility. Hmm…what IF we actually had another baby?!
Now, it’s a fucking obsession to the point that I found myself staring at preggo women and newborns on the street with that kind of I ENVY YOU, I WANT YOUR LITTLE BABY type of look. And, as you can imagine, doesn’t look so good and it REALLY scares people away.
So I thought…hold on a minute, all I need is a touch of reality to make me realize that this is just another crazy idea of mine and who’s better then my dear husband to smack me in the head with it?
At the word “pregnant” alone the poor bastard started to tremble and I could see replaying in his mind the few, very few times we had sex in the past couple of months and trying to figure out how the heck he could have done it again.
When he was 98.9% sure that that wasn’t his doing, he took a long breath and said: “What?”
Then he started mumbling that maybe it is too soon, the apartment is too small, is money going to be enough?...and blah, blah, blah.
And guess what? After all his mumbling and bitching around now I REALLY want a baby.
I told him that this month after my period, we’re gonna start trying, so that by July we’ll have a little one. That’s it. End of the story. Is this or else. (I actually threaten to find sperm somewhere else, as long as he didn’t mind raising someone else’s kid).
He’s answer after all this: “Talking about performance anxiety huh?”
Tell me what do you think. Am I rushing into it? Is it going to be absolutely crazy around here with 2 kids under 2? Keep in mind though that I always wanted to have kids very close in age, so that they can go through life together. I was an only child and hated it. My husband was an only child and loved it. Who’s right?