It has been already 7 whole months and 3 days to be exact, since the birth of Luca and you can call me crazy, but I really miss being pregnant! I knooow, I'm not crazy and I think I got all my brain cells back, more or less, but it was just a magical time, full of excitement and anticipation. That's why I want to share with you the exciting story of my labor...in details...yuppyyy!
Since the very moment I found out that I was pregnant, there was always a nagging thought in the back of my mind that scared the bejesus out of me....LABOR. Such a simple word but yet so powerful to make you feel helpless and...nauseous. You have read every single book out there, you took your intensive childbirth preparation class and you have watched every single show on the Health Discovery Channel, including repeats. You are scared to death and can't really understand how something the size of an elephant can make it's way out through such a tiny hole. And you are fucking tired of hearing people saying: "Don't worry darling, women have been giving birth forever...everybody does it...it's natural!" How can it be natural? Are you on crack? Your vagina will fucking explode! And then you realize that the people saying that are usually men (suckers!) or women with no kids.
I wanted to hear some real stories or at least I was dreaming of somebody telling me that there was no pain involved and your baby will just slip out, yes, like a suppository. But unfortunately I was wrong. Almost every woman who decided to share their horror stories didn’t spare me any details. I was convinced that I wouldn’t survive labor without being in excruciating pain for at least 20 hours, 2 epidurals and every single drug natural or synthetic available to human kind. But I guess I was one of the lucky one.
To be continued...
DCP: Never show any signs of despair when other people want to share their horror stories with you. Always keep your posture, be very positive and apply some more lipgloss while they are talking. Trust me…it will make them crumble! You can always cry at home later!