All Aboard the Choo Choo Train

Mohawks and Dirty Diapers is taking a couple of days off.

We are boarding the choo choo train to the faraway land of…Pennsylvania, to visit the in-laws.

So after carefully choosing every item necessary to feed, change and entertain the little monster and after packing enough crap to last me a month in the desert, I’m proud to announce that it only took me about 3 hours, from start to finish! Not bad…huh?!

Total of days away from home: 3.

Total bags: 3, plus diaper bag and stroller.

Total amount of bags for my husband and I: Half (no joke).

Total amount of outfits for Luca: 18 (in case vomiting or diarrhea strikes and we are left in the middle of nowhere. To which I’m not quite sure why we would need all these clothes anyway….but you know, better be safe).

Total amount of diapers: 35.

Total amount of toys: A whole bag (in case I will have to impersonate different cartoon characters, for the joy of all the other passengers).

I also, involuntarily grabbed Vogue, Bazaar and my journal, but then quickly realized that I was just kidding myself.

Like I would seriously have the time to read or write….ever again?

Well…let’s look at it this way folks: I have exactly 17 years, 3 months, 16 days, 1 hour, 29 minutes and…5 seconds until I get my freedom back.

Does that make me a bad mommy?

Unconditional Love

Me: Ughh…my boobs are starting to sag, don’t you think?

Hubby: No babe, you’re crazy. You look beautiful.

Me: I can’t get rid of these last few pounds.

Hubby: No babe. You’re perfect.

Me: My tummy will never look the same. After the third kid I will definitely have some work done. Maybe a tummy-tuck and a little augmentation…of the twins, that is. So that you’ll have something to play with as you grow old, my love.

Hubby: No babe. You look beautiful the way you are. Who’s having three kids?

Me: Focus baby, focus. Boobs. Think boobs.

Hubby: Right.

(Me on trying to convince my husband to eventually have three kids. One day. Maybe.)

Fashion Forward

Let’s forget for a minute that you have kids and you’re back to your pre-baby-pre-husband-pre-everyday-married-routine.

Back to the days when you really didn’t have to worry about the color choice of your outfit because nobody would have puked on you or smudged you with peanut butter and jelly. When all your worries were just about the length of you dress or the slutty-ness of your miniskirt. Ahh…those were the days!

Well, just when I thought that white was never to be found in my closet again, unless I decided to dust off my wedding dress and wear it for Halloween, here I see this pretty little number (see photo).

I mean, it’s not something you really would wear everyday to drop off the kids at school or grocery shopping, but it’s exactly what I would were if I was invited to one of my imaginary friend’s pool party.

Yes, one of those really cool summer parties you always hear about it, but you are never invited anymore because now you have a kid and therefore you resemble the plague.

DCP: You can always dress up for a fun afternoon of shopping and...food splattering with your little one. After all, there is nothing catchier then a sexy mama who takes care of herself...especially around the kids! (I just don’t know what a white dress would look like at the end of the day….sigh!).

The Daily Bite: Insalata Estiva

(Summer Salad)

There were always a few dishes my mom used to make for us on a regular basis during the summer months in Italy and one of those was this really yummy salad. Often we used to spend long days at the beach, and I was always very excited to see what my mom had packed for lunch.

While some of my little friends could only rely on the same boring sandwich, I definitely had, most of the time, a pretty wide menu to choose from. There was always some sort of salad, a gourmet sandwich, often made with Focaccia bread (my favorite) and a little something sweet to end the meal.

This salad was frequently present on our “beach menu” for its simplicity and incredibly refreshing taste. It is rich of vitamin C and antioxidants and I love how the zesty vinaigrette brings all the flavors together.

It was also an easy way to make me eat beans, which, according to my mom, are really good for you!

Servings: 4

For the vinaigrette:

Juice of one lime
1 ½ tablespoon of extra-virgin olive oil
Hot pepper sauce to taste
A pinch of garlic salt

For the salad:

1 can (15 oz) of black beans, rinsed and drained
1 can (8.75 oz) of corn kernels, drained
1 tomato, seeded and chopped
2 oz. of fresh mozzarella, cubed
¼ cup finely chopped red onion
2 tablespoon of fresh minced cilantro

In a little bowl whisk together all the vinaigrette ingredients and pour it on the salad. Cover with some plastic wrap to keep the flavors in and let it sit for at least 20 minutes.
Serve at room temperature.

For a lighter version you can skip the mozzarella.

Buon Appetito!

Out of Business

I have to admit, I was a little bit shocked today when Luca, totally out of the blue, grabbed my left boob and tried to suck on it.
I mean, I wasn’t super surprised because after all I breastfed him until a couple of months ago, but it was just the way he did it and the look on his face that made me chuckle.

Let me just remind you that I had stopped breastfeeding him, not because I was tired of it (although my nose will probably grow a few feet if I swear to you that I’ve never dreamt of not having anybody sucking, licking and chewing on my tatas for a little while…just a little while), but only because Mr. - I’m too old to be still sucking on your booby - son Luca, decided that solid food was much more cool and tastier then the old cow’s juice.

Fine.

So it was with some kind of sinister pleasure and just a little bit of sadness that I had announced to the world that my shop was officially closed. That’s it. Finito. Out of business. The cow has retired.

I didn’t say: Please, come back later, Your Majesty, whenever you feel like it and we’ll whip up some fresh organic, pasteurized, certified grade A mama’s juice. Nope.
Sorry kid. You had it. You were the one and only little sucker who had access to his own private bar, ANYTIME you wanted and you let it go.

It was fun though to watch the disappointed look on his face. It also took him a couple of squeezes to finally realize that the little twins are now deflated, before he decided to move on to more important things, like the remote control.

Daily Cool Pill: If you are still breastfeeding, try to protect your precious tatas from any unnecessary pulling, tugging, chewing and any underage act of vandalism in general. You will be very thankful one day when you won't have to put on your bra one leg at the time!

Little Magic Bean

So, after gulping down about 5 galloons of coffee and looking like an old car in need of some serious pimping, I finally feel semi-human again.

Coming from a country where coffee is definitely the official beverage, it’s with no surprise that I have to confess my lifelong adoration and of course, addiction to this wonderful bean. Especially after a night spent in admiration of the country of Mexico and their beloved Tequila.

I don’t think I know one single person in Italy who doesn’t drink coffee, in one way or the other. Some people prefer a strong and energetic espresso, while others prefer a milder version like cappuccino or latte.

Me, I can drink it all.

Especially after nine long months of pregnancy where I was only allowed one lousy daily cup of this wonderful poison and the rest just meaningless decaf, I could not wait to give birth and swim in a pool of delightful java.

Even though caffeine has a really bad rap, I am usually willing to ignore it, especially when it comes down to the fact that without it, I won’t even be able to get out of bed.
Let alone dealing with work, Luca, the nannies at the park and my obnoxious neighbors.

I’m always looking for that little energy buzz to get me through the day. It could be a nice and foamy latte or a blissful chocolate bar. Most likely anything with sugar will do it.

The only tiny bit problem is that my old body is now totally addicted to anything sweet. So on a really bad day I will have to chow down the equivalent amount of sugar you’ll find in a candy aisle at the supermarket.

I’m also starting to believe that I’m one of those lucky beeeatches who can “almost” eat anything and blame it on her fast metabolism. I say almost because I’m not 100% sure yet, but I know that with all the sugar I eat on a daily basis, Moby Dick would look like my skinny twin.

DCP: If you feel guilty about drinking too much coffee, Green Tea is the healthy alternative to a black cup of java. It’s full of antioxidants and other really good stuff. Doesn’t really taste as good as a cappuccino, but it will probably double your life expectancy!

Get Out of My Head

Last night I went out with a bunch of colleagues. Got drunk. Really drunk. Today, feeling really wrong. My brain is not functioning properly and need to take little breaks here and there. Don’t really know what I was thinking, but I guess I wanted to feel young and stupid again and chuckled down shot after shot.

As a result, didn’t really feel young, just stupid. And I ended up hugging a very old friend of mine..the toilet bowl.

Today was rough and had the feeling that somebody was constantly banging on my head. Oh, yes…Luca.

I promise I will never drink again...ever.

Or at least until next time.

DCP: I'm in no position to suggest anything cool today. But I will gladly take any suggestion on how to cure hangovers, motion sickness, head spinning and feeling like crap in general.

Little Bits of Wisdom

Women love a bargain. The question of “need” is irrelevant, so don’t even bother pointing it out.

Women never have anything to wear. Don’t question the racks of clothes in the closet. You “just don’t understand”.

Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty. That’s what we do.

Women need to feel that there are people worse off then they are. That’s why soap operas and Oprah-type shows are so successful.

Women think all beer is the same.

Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower.

Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'

All women are overweight by definition, don't argue with them about it.

All women are overweight by definition, don't agree with them about it.

Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what they're doing. It might be the lottery calling.

Most men hate to shop. That’s why the men’s section is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

A good place to meet a man is the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That’s why men need instant replay in sports. They have already forgotten what happened.

Male menopause is a lot more fun then female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause – they get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

The Daily Bite: Daddy’s Favorite

Yes, my dear old man…today is your first Father’s Day. If it didn’t hit you already that you have a son…well, today shall be the day you finally get a kick in the balls!

You will get your first Hallmark card with some cute (and super silly) daddy poem and Luca and I will cook your favorite dinner. No honey, no burgers, hot dogs or pizza.

Today you will use any little excuse to have a drink...and it’s ok, you deserve it.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!

My husband loves my mussels recipe…so this is what he’s getting for dinner tonight. This is one of the best recipes you will ever taste, because of the crunchy bread, the overdose of garlic and the juiciness of the tomatoes. If you try it, I would love to hear your comments…so please drop me a line!

Zuppa di Cozze

Servings: 4

3 lbs. of mussels
12 oz. of ripe vine tomatoes
Splash of dry white wine
Baguette
Fresh parsley
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Salt and Pepper

Wash the mussels under fresh water, clean them and pull away any pieces of protruding beard. In a medium pot, warm up 2 tablespoons of oil and let the mussels open up.
Start placing the open mussels in a large 3 inch deep serving plate.
Filter the cooking juices, add a little splash of dry white wine to taste and set aside.
Prepare the sauce by warming up 3 tablespoons of oil and 3 cloves of garlic, finely chopped. Cut the tomatoes in small pieces and add them to the oil and the garlic. When they become tender, add the mussels juice and a tablespoon of chopped parsley. Add salt and pepper (usually you need to add a generous amount of pepper, since it will give the sauce a wonderful flavor and it will taste great with the mussels) and pour the sauce over the mussels. Serve right away with some slices of toasted bread.

Toasted bread:

I like to prepare a nice bruschetta bread to enjoy with the mussels. I usually buy a whole baguette, slice it sideways so that the slices are a bit longer and thicker. Toast the bread in the oven for a few minutes and when it’s done rub it with some garlic and a few drops of olive oil. When the sauce from the mussels will soak into the bread you will taste an incredible combination of different flavors.
The best wine to pair with this dish is definitely a white, young and dry Pinot Grigio.

Buon Appetito!

Daily Classifieds

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent
communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable
hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour
shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments
in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier
duties also required.


RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least
temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue
repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and
be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this
time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small
gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must
screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of
multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize
social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be
willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must
handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap,
plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the
best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete
accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also
include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.


POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without
complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that
those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a
continually exhausting basis.


WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon
payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college
will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give
them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme
is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.


BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this
job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs
for life if you play your cards right.

Please help me forget…

Today my little man turned 8 months. His birthday present was a visit to the pediatrician for his bi-monthly check-up, a shot, a blood test and a-so-close-it-scared-the-crap-out-of-me-visit-to-the-ER.
Yes…you got it right…ER.

This is how it went:

Cool Mama: “La…la...la… off we go to the doc, Luca. I know honey it sucks that you have to get a shot on your birthday. Mommy tried to change the appointment, but there was nothing available for next week. Don’t worry, we will be so fast…you won’t even feel it!”.

Luca: “What are you talking about, you crazy lady. Of course I will feel it, I’m gonna have a needle in my leg…you wacko!”

Little we knew that included in the today’s visit there was also a blood test. I can still hear him screaming his lungs out, while the doc was poking his finger.
After a few minutes of hysterical wailing he finally calmed down and off we go, ready to make our way back home.

My husband and I were so busy calming Luca down that we didn’t really pay attention to the doc warning of keeping an eye on Luca’s band-aid. Yes, he had a little band-aid on the finger where the blood was drawn and I remember a little tickle in my ear…similar to the doc’s voice, telling us: “Keep the strip on for a little bit and make sure he doesn’t swallow it…swallow it…swallow it (this is the echo in my brain!)”. Well…you just go ahead and guess what happened?

Yep…we were strolling back home when all of a sudden I hear Luca coughing and gagging.... I knew he had swallowed the band-aid.
I started panicking. I mean, REALLY panicking. My little man needed help right away. So while my husband was frantically trying to get it out, I dialed 911.
I did my best to stay calm, but tears were coming down and for the first time I was really scared for his life.

The operator was asking way to many questions and I almost lost it…my baby was choking for God’s sake…help!
She wanted to know if he had foam around his mouth and if he was blue. I almost fainted when I saw a little foamed saliva coming out of his mouth…that was it. I felt like somebody was stabbing me in the chest over and over and over.

Then…the miracle happened. He started crying and I knew he was ok. My little hero was trying to tell me that I didn’t have to worry about him and that he would never leave me.
His beautiful face was drenched with tears, but he still managed to smile at me.

Unfortunately, I will never forget this day. I had failed to protect him and it’s the worst feeling in the whole world. I had failed as a mother and I fear he’ll never forgive me.

Later the pediatrician told me not to worry. That this happens all the time and that he will poop it out tomorrow. Still. I should have been more careful.

Please forgive me, my little angel and may God watch over you forever and ever.

Breakfast in bed…anyone?

I don’t know why, but I always thought that having a baby entailed spending every night wide awake trying to console the little insomniac and being a total messy-sleep-deprived-nutcase during the day. While your little one is peacefully sleeping, of course.

During my last month of pregnancy, I tried to prepare myself, physically and mentally to waking up at the wee hours (ok…maybe not so much physically, but more mentally!)and pictured myself getting ready to take the baby out for a walk at 6 am.

The problem is that anybody who knows me or who has ever met me, would simply dying laughing at the thought of mee? Waking up at what time? To take who out? Yeah…that’s how much I LOVE to sleep.

Luckily, I have to admit, I never had to deal with this, since my little one is usually out cold by 9 pm and doesn’t wink until 12 hours later. When he finally wakes up, he has a little breakfast, plays around for another hour or so and then is out cold again for his morning nappy. So basically, we are never out of the house before 2 or 3 in the afternoon.

DON’T GET ME WRONG...I’m loving it (and sorry for the little brag), but I feel like sleep wise my life hasn’t changed, thank God! There are the occasional cries in the middle of the night when he’s having those famous “night terrors” (what are those anyway? Is he crying because he’s dreaming of a little monkey swinging on top of his head? Or is it a giant cat, scaring the bejesus out of him?) or when he pooped his pants…but that’s about it.

Alright, great...now I officially jinx it and I will spend the rest of my life living like a zombie, with chronic dark circles under my eyes and hooked on crack cocaine.

Well…at least I'll be skinny!

Daily Cool Pill: For the occasional dark circles, due to a long night out, where you had waaay too many drinks and you ended up at that place…what’s the name of that bar that you like so much? Er…ooohh…sorry, that was my previous life!
I was saying…for those occasional dark circles, due to the stress of motherhood, try the Yves Saint Laurent Radiant Touch Concealer. It’s very light on your skin, without the cakey texture of a heavy concealer and brightens up your skin at the same time. I love it!

Gotta love a good bargain...

A man walks into a toy store to get a Barbie doll for his daughter’s birthday. So he asks the assistant: "How much is Barbie?"

"Well," she says, "we have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00."

"Hey, hang on," the guy asks, "why is Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95?"

"Yeah, well, you see ... Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture….and Ken's best friend!

Honey, hold the baby while I puke some more

Today is not a good day. I feel really yucky…like, you know that bad-stomach-belly-pain-that-makes-you-believe-you-have-a-bug-or-the-flu-but-you-are-not-really-sure-so-you-blame-it-on-something-you-ate? Yes, that one!
No, no…calm down… I’m not pregnant. Unless, the invisible man took me in my sleep.
Naaaah, impossible!

Anyway…feeling really sluggish today and don’t have the energy to tell you all the good stuff I had in mind.
Gotta run to the bathroom…again. Yeah…I think you got the picture.

Sayonara!

The Daily Bite: Il Panino del Contadino

(The Farmer’s Sandwich)

I decided to post this recipe after reading one of my favorite food blog called: Il Cavoletto di Bruxelles.

Due to my recent obsession with food blogs, I wanted to share with you this very simple and incredibly tasty panino recipe.
The sweet flavor of the mortadella combined with the saltiness of the ricotta salata and the tanginess of the peppers make for the ultimate gourmand’s experience.

So here it goes:

In a small cup marinade some roasted red and yellow peppers that you can buy already prepared in a can (I like to make my own...but that's another story, or better, another recipe!). Cut them in thin slices and let them marinade in a little bit of extra virgin olive oil, salt and pepper (I usually prefer black pepper, but you can also add red pepper flakes for the extra kick!). Add about 1 quarter cup of balsamic vinegar and let it sit for half an hour.

Cut 2 slices of Tuscan bread (or sourdough, if you prefer). Place some mortadella on the bottom, top it with a couple of slices of ricotta salata (salted ricotta). This is usually firmer then the regular fresh ricotta and I usually prefer the soft type (aged 6 months) to the harder one (aged 9 months).

If you are in the mood for a fresher and lighter taste, mozzarella can be used as well, instead of the ricotta.

Spread the peppers on top of the ricotta adding some of the vinegar and oil mixture.
You can either warm up your “beautiful creation” on the panini press or you can simply toast the bread in advance.

Bon appetito, Sigrid!
…..e famme sape’ se tte’ piaciuto!

Goldilocks vs. Mr. T

For quite a few weeks now, I have been contemplating the idea and suppressing the sudden desire of cutting my hair short.
I believe it has to do with the fact that summer is here or maybe because I can’t deal anymore with the pounding headaches due to Luca pulling on it…constantly.

The little dude is hooked on mama’s hair. So far right now it’s the best toy available on the market and he just won’t let it go. Somehow he always manages to get his little hands stuck on the most painful spots…like the nape of my neck or the temples (you know what I mean, those very sensitive areas that make your eyes fill with tears and your nose bleed).

The first thing that came to mind was obviously a Mohawk. Nothing crazy, rainbow colored or mullet-like.

Then, after the frightened look on my stylist’s face, I realized that short hair is not really for me and that I actually look like a mental patient ready to be locked up.
Now all I do, of course, is dream of little pixie haircuts, like the one Michelle Williams is sporting lately or really cool bleached blond bobs, a la Kate Bosworth.

My hair is really course, red and I have a lot of it. A few years ago, when I used to live in Japan (yeah…I used to be cool…remember?), I actually dared to dye my hair platinum blond. The result was catastrophic and, if that wasn’t enough, I decided to use a hair straightener on top of the bleach. Needless to say, my hair totally melted (in the real sense of the word!) and after begging and blathering (try to imagine me, talking Japanese in a broken English, with an Italian accent) in vain, my very talented Japanese hairdresser had no choice but to give me a sweet old Rod-Stewart-like-haircut. (I had a mullet…and you only wish I was joking!)

Yet, I must be a masochist, because that should’ve been enough to scar me for life and let my hair grow like a Rapunzel.
Unfortunately, knowing myself and being a very stubborn cookie, I will probably end up with a Mohawk. If that happens….you will be the first ones to know, share my pain and yes, admire my shameful photos!

DCP: Wigs, wigs, wigs! They exist for a reason…right??

Updates on previous post: Paris is back in jail, by the way.

Living la Vida Loca

So, after only 5 days in jail, today Paris Hilton was set free. Oh…I’m sorry, yes…house arrest. Big fucking deal, anyway!

Uhh…I guess it must be really hard to be confined in your own home when you live in a mansion. Probably she will have to organize her next 40 days so that she doesn’t get bored spending too much time in the same room.

Yes, she will have to make some executive decisions, like taking a bubble bath or a swim in the indoor pool without the risk of being electrocuted (by the bracelet!). Or nibbling on some more liver pate’ while shopping on line with her little doggy Tinkerbell (it's scary how I even know the name of it!).

Yeah…I guess I should give the girl some credit, after all, she did last 5 whole days.

Road Tripping

Since the day I became a “Legal Alien” of the United States of America, I always thought about getting my driver’s license. I know, I know… It sounds a bit retarded, but I used to have one, back in Italy which I obtained with a good dose of cheating and an old friend at the DMV. It really didn’t make a difference to me since Italians are well known to be really bad drivers anyway. Then I moved to London and I didn’t even dare to drive on the other side of the road, (it was hard enough trying not to kill anybody during my occasional errands in my own country!) so my poor license was stashed at the bottom of a drawer and eventually completely lost.

After I met my husband, we were both making fun of each other because neither of us had a proper driver’s license. He is the typical New Yorker who uses taxis, trains and the occasional bus around town and I pretty much like to walk everywhere.

Needless to say that since Luca came along, I have been dreaming about these beautiful long road trips we would take over the weekends (traffic? what traffic?...in my dreams there is no such a thing), while my husband is napping in the passenger seat, Luca is happily chewing on his stuffed cow, Floyd and Norah Jones is playing in the background.
I am behind the wheel (Oh Lord!), happily humming the sweet tunes and taking in the beautiful view of the countryside.

Yes, it’s because of this dream that every single week I pick up my little DMV book, ready to study for the test and inevitably…I get bored to death!
Then I start bitching and moaning to my husband on why we never drive anywhere and why HE doesn’t have a driver’s license and blah…blah and this is when he starts making fun of the way I drive the stroller.

Ok, I have to admit that my poor son, Luca, must have motion sickness every time I push him around in his Bugaboo. I am the kind of person who likes to multi-task. That doesn’t necessarily mean I’m good at it. I like to talk, eat my protein bar, touch up my lipgloss and occasionally paying attention to where I’m going. So after running over my husband’s feet a few times and crashed into a couple of trees…let’s just say he doesn’t really trust me as a driver.

At the end of the day, I guess we are just a couple of lazy people stuck on public transportation for the rest of our lives…or until we realize that with all the money we waste in taxis we could have own a Lamborghini.

DCP: Don’t be such a goofball like me and study for your license if you don’t have one!

Beauty and the Beast

I wish they would have told me how bloody painful your first period is after you give birth. I mean, really…what’s all the cramping, backache and mood swings?
I was blessed enough not to have it back right away, but I stopped breastfeeding a few weeks ago…and there it is, on the dot, with a huge grin on his face (yes, my period has a face…so what?...boy I gotta stop the crack!).

I can hear it laughing and saying: “I’m baaaaack! You seriously thought I was gone for good? Ohhh…poor thing!”

(No seriously…what’s wrong with me?)

Anyway, the beast is back and I can’t move or leave the house without a triple dose (yes, enough to kill a horse) of Midol, Ibuprofen, Advil, Motrin, Xanex (I wish) or whatever legal (and illegal) stuff I have around.
Last night I also went off at my husband about a stupid roasted chicken. I was going on and on and on, to the point that I sounded so stupid (even to my own ears), but it was too late to admit it (I am a very proud chick!)… So I had to keep going until I burst into laughter.

Well, let’s look at the bright side: I only have 3 more days to go!

Daily Cool Pill: My grandma always used to give me a shot of strong liquor to kill the pain (yes, us Italians believe in natural remedies!), so I have been on a Tequila diet for the past 24 hours. The occasional shot does the trick, but if you’re looking for a tastier treat...Margaritas is the way to go, girl!

Hasta la vista, baby!

Louder Then Words

It has been now a few months since my little one started experimenting with his vocal cords…or better, with his high pitched screams. It was cute in the beginning and all we did was admire his opera-singer-like-solos, but after a few days of ear bleedings and strong doses of Tylenol…it just didn’t do it for us anymore.

Considering that we live in a five floor apartment building, where the walls are thinner then paper, I can totally imagine the looks on my neighbors’ faces. Yes, we were the couple with “the screaming baby” or better, the only couple with “a baby” in the whole building. Period.

After the first complaint from the guy upstairs (yes, it’s Manhattan and there are assholes everywhere!...like I’m supposed to explain to a 5 month old how to keep it down!), I honestly and genuinely considered to go around each and every apartment offering earplugs and headache relievers…until I realized I would be broke!

I don’t think it’s out there yet that very special kind of earplug. The one able to block out such a supersonic noise like the one Luca makes when he’s not happy. (Look at the picture and just add 100,000,000 decibels to it…got the idea?).

So after spending the first few weeks worrying sick that somebody would knock at our door and kick us out of the apartment, after suing Luca’s lil' ass for permanently damaging their eardrums…I honestly don’t give a crap anymore!

Now I just enjoy myself when he’s jumping up and down like a little monkey in the Exersaucer or when he drops all his toys on the floor from the highchair.
I wouldn’t be surprised actually if soon the whole building will evacuate because of hurricane Luca and the “real estate police” charge us a billion dollars for lost revenue!

What can I say? All the cries and the screams…are just music to my ears (until I run out of my huge stash of Tylenol in my medicine cabinet!).

Daily Cool Pill: If somebody knocks at your door complaining about the screams and the noise from your little one, just say: "Oh...I'm sorry, but I think I enjoy better my baby's screams then your sex moans! (One long minute of silence...). Oh yes...we heard all about it the other night!" Trust me...it's a winner! No man will ever admit that he hasn't had sex in a very long time and no older lady wouldn't get a kick out of it!

The Daily Bite: Zucchine Campagnole

June is finally here. Since I was a little girl running around the beaches of the Italian Riviera, summer has always been my favorite. I love the colors, the different smells and the beautiful variety of the fresh food available at the farmers market.
I love the sweet taste of the sun drenched tomatoes, the smell of the fresh basil and the juiciness of a big chunk of watermelon.
My summer memories are mostly related to the end of school and the long days spent at the beach, to the sweet old lady selling fresh doughnuts and rosemary focaccia and the long family dinners “al fresco”.
My big fat cat sleeping her way trough the whole season for being too lazy to move around and my old sweet dog always ready to sneak up some food under the table.

As you already know I want to dedicate the weekend section of this blog to sharing some old great family recipes.

This is a very easy one that I usually make about 2 or 3 times a week…just because I love zucchini so much! I know this is not the typical summer vegetable, since it’s usually available all year long, but I love its earthy and refreshing taste. It’s a great side dish next to any meat or fish.

Servings: 4

Take 4 medium sized zucchini and cut them in half, lengthwise. Then cut them into quarter inch thick half circles.

Heat up 4 or 5 generous tablespoons of olive oil with 4 minced garlic cloves. After a minute or so, add the zucchini, a handful of fresh thyme, salt and pepper and sauté for about 5 minutes or until they are cooked but still crunchy. I usually add a little bit of water so that the oil and the spice blend together.
Once they are on a plate, you can sprinkle some fresh grated pecorino cheese (shown in the picture) or if you prefer a more refreshing taste, they are great with some fresh mint and basil.

Buon appetito!

I am no Cyber Whore

I really don’t remember what the heck we used to do without the Internet. Did we really use the Yellow Pages every time we were looking for an address? A restaurant? A store? Really?
It seems such a distant memory now, but to think about it I only became “computer happy” in the last few years. I’ve never really been a technology freak, let alone a decent user, so every time I discover or master the smallest task on my Mac…I feel like I discovered America.
You should have seen me playing around with Photoshop and Illustrator, or using my first scanner. Word, Excel, Power Point and all that computer mambo jumbo are slowly becoming clearer to me over the years and I can honestly say out loud, how much I regret cheating my way through computer class back in school.
I have always been a literature, history and foreign languages lover (yeah, you wouldn’t have guessed by the way I write!) and loathed anything remotely technical, including math of course.
So having bluffed my way through school for so many years and noticing that the whole world now revolves around computers…I had to step up and teach myself some of that stuff.
Anyway, the point of this post was….(I swear I had one!)…Isn’t it amazing how nowadays we feel crippled without a computer? We can’t even go on vacation without checking our e-mails or letting everybody know where we are…in case something happens. We feel this enormous need to stay in touch with the world because somehow we think if disaster strikes, we can save the day. What happened to the private time spent with friends and family? To the luxury of not being bothered by your boss or colleagues while you’re away? Well, it’s very simple: Unplug yourself!

DCP: Isn’t it nicer to come back from a vacation relaxed and tan, instead of looking like crap because you feel like you have never left?
Remember, it’s called vacation for a reason so ask your boss and colleagues to respect it!